On July 25, the Friends of Civil Affairs is hosting its 5th annual Memorial Golf Scramble at Gates Four Golf and Country Club located at 6775 Irongate Drive. The 18-hole scramble is open to individual players ($75 registration fee) or teams of 4 ($300 registration fee). Registration includes 18 holes, green fees, cart rental, buffet lunch, and event t-shirt. Check-in is from 7 a.m. to 8 p.m., and the shotgun start is at 9 a.m. There will be prizes for hole-in-one, closest to the pin, and longest drive. To register, visit https://friendsofcivilaffairs.com/ssg-hess-golf-scramble.
Each year, the Veteran-centered nonprofit, whose mission is “dedicated to supporting the welfare and morale of the Active Duty Civil Affairs Soldiers and their Families,” chooses a service member to honor during the annual fundraiser. This year’s event is in conjunction with the 97th Civil Affairs Battalion. The 2025 honoree is, Staff Sgt. Jacob Hess, a highly decorated soldier who deployed during Operation Iraqi Freedom from 2007-2008 and again from 2009-2010, received the Army Commendation Medal (fourth award), the Army Achievement Medal (sixth award), two Iraq Campaign Medals, a Korean Defense Service Medal and the Global War on Terrorism Expeditionary Medal.
After his tragic death at the Joint Readiness Training Center in Louisiana, he was posthumously awarded the Meritorious Service Medal. Staff Sgt. Hess was a dedicated soldier, but he was also a devoted husband and father, and “just Jacob” at home. His widow, Jessica Hess, wants people to know that while her husband was an incredible soldier, he was just as incredible when he was home and the uniform came off. Staff Sgt. Hess was so much more than his uniform and military achievements. He was an artist, an optimist, a musician, and so much more.
“He was a total goofball, and that’s one of the things I miss most about him. [He] was just like always, the comedic relief. You know, never took anything too seriously,” Jessica said. “He was super patient. That was the number one thing I loved about him: his patience. And he was also like a jack of all trades and a master of none. He was always into everything. He did a stained glass and then did another house project. He picked up playing ukulele a little bit. He liked to play soccer. He liked to play golf. He just was always into everything, and no project scared him away, you know. He didn’t view it as work.
“When we got married, he took a leave for our wedding and our honeymoon and we got back from our honeymoon and we had a few more days before he had to go back to work. He was like, ‘You know what, I’m gonna tear down the deck and rebuild it.’ He literally tore down our huge deck. It was a multilayer deck, rebuilt the whole thing by himself. And it’s still gorgeous. It’s beautiful. It’s still standing, and I asked him if he had ever done this before, and he said, ‘No.’ … That's just who he was. He just wanted to try something new. Shortly before he died, before he left on his training mission, he started this stained glass project for our daughter. She was three months old at the time, and that was like that last piece of art that he had done.
“He really did everything. I don’t think a lot of people [knew that], especially his military buddies. I don’t think they knew quite the depth of those types of things he did at home.
Staff Sgt. Hess wasn’t just artistic, he loved his family and wife, Jessica says.
“He was very loving. He was a super romantic husband. I mean, I know we kinda used to make people gag a little bit but now that he’s gone, everyone has just said to me, you guys were gross but we are so glad you have that because he was just super romantic and very secure in his masculinity, and that’s who he was.”
They didn’t start dating right away. Jessica says they knew each other before they started seeing each other.
“He was after me for a while, and I wouldn’t agree to date him because I thought he was a nerd. That’s what he was, too. We knew each other for quite a while before we started dating, but I finally agreed, and it was the best thing I ever did. On our first date, he told me, ‘I love you and I’m gonna marry you someday.’ I was like, ‘You’re crazy!’ But sure enough, we did. He asked me to marry him in army life fashion. He was deployed, and I was here in Fayetteville. He had been practicing the ukulele and the tune, Hey There Delilah by the Plain White Tees. He used his own lyrics, and he basically wrote me a song. It was like ‘Hey there Jessica….. If you let me marry you, I’ll choose you first every single day. What do you say?’ So he sent it to me,” she said. “He texted it to me, and I was at the gym at the time, and he was blowing up my phone. I left the gym and I [had missed] all these calls and I didn’t open the text messages. I called him back and I’m like, ‘What’s going on, is everything ok?’ He [asked] ‘Did you see the video I sent you?’ I thought it was another video of him playing the ukulele, so I didn’t think anything of it. He said I needed to watch the video right now. I was in the Starbucks drive-through after the gym, and that’s when I watched the video, and it’s him asking me to marry him. Then we FaceTimed when we were picking out my engagement ring.”
Jessica hopes people remember the legacy Staff Sgt. Hess left behind.
“He was the best. He really was. I know that is cliche to say, but he really was. He really was the good man that everyone says he was. He really was that good guy when his buddies talk about him and how reliable he was. He was the guy on the team who would say, ‘Sure, I’ll do that. You need my help, you got it.’ Everyone can easily know about Staff Sgt. Jacob, how he died in a training accident serving his country; everyone knows that narrative. But the man at home. He was the most loyal husband you could imagine. Our love story really was a thing made from fairytales. I’m so blessed to have that, then him as a father. We have five daughters, and he was the ultimate girl dad. He was out there on the trampoline with them, playing practical jokes on them, and he was like, ‘If I can’t have a boy, I’m still gonna be a dad.’ He may not have been painting their nails or anything, but he was just absolutely engaged with the kids every chance he could be. He was a soldier through and through and a great one. He started at the 82nd Airborne and finished with Special Operations. I think that's a pretty impressive career. I truly believe he’d wanna be remembered as the engaged father that he was, and he was really the best. He was a ukulele-playing goofball who brought me flowers all he time.”
To honor the life of Staff Sgt. Hess, register for the 5th Annual Memorial Golf Scramble at https://friendsofcivilaffairs.com/ssg-hess-golf-scramble