Welcome back to the wonderful world of Grimm’s Fairy Tales. Today, we enter a forest to meet a Prince, his faithful but clumsy servant, 12 murderers, and a Princess. The truth shall set you free. Unless you are questioned by the police, you are advised to consult with an attorney before answering questions. The Prince in our story gets interrogated by a Princess. Spoiler Alert: Despite telling her the truth, it turns out OK for the Prince. Remember, this is a fairy tale. Any resemblance to real life is purely coincidental.
Once upon a time, a Prince came down with wanderlust. He rode into the forest with his trusty servant to seek adventure. Near dark, he began looking for a place to spend the night. He found a cottage in the woods with a beautiful girl standing outside the door. He asked if they could spend the night. She warned him that her wicked stepmother lived there and not to eat or drink anything she offered him. The Prince did not fear witches, but he did not consume any food or drink just to be safe. The next morning, the Prince rode away before his servant finished saddling his horse. The witch offered the servant a cup of ale to take to the Prince. The servant, who was a butter-fingered lout, spilled the cup on his horse. The horse immediately died as the witch’s brew was poison.
The servant caught up with the Prince. On returning to the cottage to retrieve the abandoned saddle, they found a raven eating the eye of the dead horse. Unsure of when or if they would find food, they killed the raven and took it with them for supper. That evening, they saw an inn in the woods. The servant gave the innkeeper the raven to cook for their supper. It turned out that twelve murderers were also staying at the inn. The innkeeper was about to serve the Prince when the murderers grabbed the raven stew for themselves. After one bite, each of the murderers died because the raven had been poisoned by eating the horse’s eyeball.
The innkeeper skedaddled from the inn, leaving his beautiful daughter behind. She showed the Prince where the murderers had hidden all their stolen treasures. Being an honest man, he refused her offer to take the robber’s stolen booty.
Next, the Prince rode into a town ruled by the King. The King had a beautiful daughter who prided herself on being the greatest riddle solver in the world. She promised to marry anyone who could ask her a riddle she could not solve in 3 days. If she solved the riddle, then her suitor would have his head chopped off. Nine men tried and nine men died. The Prince, being smitten by her beauty, took up her challenge. He asked her this riddle: “One killed none, but still killed twelve. Who was it?”
The Princess was stumped. She sent her maid to sneak into the Prince’s bed chamber to try to overhear if he talked in his sleep about the riddle. On the first night, the Prince faked sleep. He snatched the maid’s robe and chased her away with a stick. He did the same on the second night, again snatching her robe. Finally, on the third night, the Princess herself stole into his room. He pretended to be asleep as the Princess whispered his riddle into his ear. He gave her the answer: “A raven ate the flesh of a dead horse that was poisoned and died itself. Then 12 murderers ate the raven stew and died.” He grabbed her royal robe when she ran from his room.
The next morning, the Princess proudly announced she had solved the riddle. She presented her explanation to the court’s 12 Riddle Masters. It appeared the Prince was doomed. Then he explained that he had been awake and given her the answer, as she would never have figured it out on her own. The Riddle Masters asked for proof. He produced the 3 robes from the maids and the Princess to prove his story was true. The Riddle Masters ruled in his favor that he had stumped the Princess. She had to marry him. He ultimately inherited the entire Kingdom when her father died.
MORAL: This is possibly the only documented time a man telling a woman the truth worked out well for the man. Remember, this is a fairy tale. Gentlemen, don’t try this at home. As Tony Soprano said to Dr. Melfi: “Is this a woman thing? You ask me how I am feeling. I tell you how I’m feeling, and now you’re gonna torture me with it?” No ravens were harmed during the writing of this column.

(Illustration by Pitt Dickey)