19 Today I want to express my condolences, care and compassion to Fayetteville City Councilwoman Courtney Banks-McLaughlin and her family. It is an effort to ecourage you beyond the long days you’ve already endured, the highs and lows of the road ahead, and for the weight of emotions you’re under on this very day.

As a resident of the district you serve, we’re neighbors. As a veteran family, we share a patriotic bond. And as members of a society which we never wished to join, we share an indelible mark on our souls.
As I’m certain you’ve already experienced, emotions following a tragedy of this magnitude run the gamut. From anger to compassion, hope to despair, and peace to anxiety beyond belief to those who have not walked the road you’re on.

All of this is only compounded and multiplied by the thousands of eyes to which your grief is visible.
As a morning radio host at the time of our son’s murder, my perception of the weight of expectations made it difficult to talk about.

Public figures like you and I often try to appear to be above the personal impact. Our actions one way or the other are perceived by many to be the barometer by which they may respond.
For me, I laid low. I needed to be okay. I wanted to be okay. And I’m fairly sure you want to be okay. And you will be. Until you’re not.
Don’t fight the emotions. God made us in His image. As such, we are at once compassionate and logical, we can reason and be angry, we can celebrate that which is good, and we can forgive what is not.

Above all, we can love. We can even choose to love those who have done unthinkable wrong to us — directly or indirectly — to the extent that we forgive them for it.
That’s where we find our peace. That’s where we become more like the creatures God created us to be. When we forgive. When we realize the most hurtful thing ever done to us could have been done by us. Or by our son. Our daughter. Or husband or wife. And in that illogical moment, we begin to see the same situation through the eyes of mercy.

No amount of anger or outrage will bring our children back.
No rethinking of the days or weeks that led to our tragedies will change the outcome.

And no words of condolence can heal a wound which cuts so deeply as this.
So I want to encourage you to embrace the memories. Kindle the love and pride you have for your daughter and know that the God of this universe loved you enough that He willingly went through what you’re going through to give you hope. To give us life beyond the few years we inhabit these bodies on earth. Sacrificing His own son, God showed us what love looks like.

Ours is to recognize what He has given us as an opportunity to show love and compassion to others.
I will commit to praying for you and your family, and I know others have and will as well. You’re not alone. You never were.