Now, it’s not something for which I plan to make a full-time habit, but it's nice to know it’s in there somewhere.
When I was offered an opportunity to go “Over the Edge” for United Way of Cumberland County, I’ll be honest — I did not want to. Despite the wonderful work United Way does for our community by funding initiatives and connecting people to vital resources for the betterment of their lives, writing a check seemed like a better plan than rappelling down a 50-foot building.
The “Over The Edge” fundraiser called upon people in the community to help United Way of Cumberland County reach their goal of $140,000 by raising money for the opportunity to rappel down the Cape Fear Valley Medical Arts Center in downtown Fayetteville. Fun, right?
Initially, blind excitement edged out my well-documented fear of heights and general lack of athletic skill. However, as the days ticked closer, I had some doubts. My focus became less and less “this is going to be so awesome!” to “how do I get out of this?”
I went over every conceivable possibility of disaster. Sure, 50 feet may not seem like much, but for me, they may have well asked me to rappel from the moon. Two hours before my check-in time, I embodied the phrase “green around the gills.” A slow-moving dread made every step toward the brightly canopied kiosk not only difficult but painful. Still, with anxiety beating in my throat like a heart, I stepped up and signed in.
So, why bother? Great question, and the answer is twofold: one, I believe in what United Way is doing for Cumberland County, and two, I recently had a birthday.
While I won’t provide an exact number, chiefly because seeing it in print will make me cry, I can confidently say I’m old enough to remember hearing the Backstreet Boys’ debut single on the radio but young 
enough to reboot my own router. The point is the older I get, the more determined I am to do the things that scare me.
As a mother, I want my kids to see me at my most amazing, and as a wife, I want to remind my husband what a rockstar he married. Most of all, I just wanted to say to myself: yeah, you were scared, but you did it anyway.
And I’m so glad I did. The experience itself, despite weeks of worry, was phenomenal and went more smoothly than I could have imagined.
Upon entering the building, I was helped into my gear immediately by a very patient man who didn’t seem to mind my minute-to-minute pivot between nervous laughter and hyperventilation. He was thorough, checked everything twice, and when I was properly rigged, sent me to another gentleman for a final check. I can honestly say this reduced my overall fear by about 40%.
My journey to the roof by way of 24 stairs was a long one, each step bringing me closer to an experience I wasn’t sure I could handle. But I’d made a commitment to United Way and a commitment to myself — turning back was not an option.
It was a beautiful day, a bit cold but clear, and it felt comforting to stand in the sunshine to await my fate. After a short but effective lesson on how to use my gear, which ropes and levers to pull, and the many, many built-in safety features to keep me from plummeting to the earth, it was my turn.
Gulp.
I was helped to the edge of the roof, heels dangling over nothing, and panic ran through me like a current. Though I’d practiced sitting back in my harness and trusting it to hold me earlier in the week, it was nothing compared to taking that first step off the ledge.
Downtown Fayetteville is beautiful from 50 feet up in the air.
After that initial cautious step of faith, I had a little time to appreciate the view of our beautiful city. As I made my way down, I realized how silly I’d been. The lesson, though brief, helped me feel safe and confident as I scaled down the Medical Arts building with an agility akin to Spider-Man (I hope) and amongst the cheers calling for me to “go, girl!” I could hear my family urging me on from below. At that moment, I felt like flying.
Now, safely on the ground, I look back at the experience with no small measure of pride. I did a scary thing, and I survived. I need to keep that in mind. After all, to date, I’ve belly danced, shot 70 feet in the air over a fan, and made a valiant attempt to “hoist” myself through aerial rings (in front of people), none of which I’d ever thought I’d do.
It’s important to remember I’ve been brave before.
Editor’s note: Donations for the United Way of Cumberland County Over the Edge campaign can be made until April 11 at https://give.overtheedge.events/ote-UWCumberlandCounty?ref=sh_7BzjN7_ab_9JPwHafblln9JPwHafblln