Double think: Two plus two equals five
- Details
- Tuesday, 29 September 2026
- Written by Pitt Dickey

Let’s see what our old pal George Orwell might say about the fun times in which we find ourselves. For reasons unknown, I recently revisited George’s rollicking laugh riot book “1984.” If you haven’t read it recently, consider taking a gander at it. George imagined Stalin as Big Brother, who became the life of the Party.
Any resemblance to Big Brother and our current Administration is purely coincidental, accidental, and I don’t mean nuthin’ by it. Draw your own analogies if you dare.
Big Brother developed his own language called New Speak in order to control the masses’ ability to think. The goal of Big Brother was to have all his subjects master the art of Double Think. Double Think is the ability to simultaneously hold two contradictory thoughts at the same time and accept both of them as true.
For example, consider the Western Michigan vs. Michigan football game in which it appeared time had run out and Western Michigan had defeated Michigan in an amazing upset.
Oops.
The Big Ten officials suddenly found another one second left to play despite what the field clock said. The Big Ten has a Double Secret Clock in which they store additional time if Michigan needs to try another Hail Mary Pass. The Refs on the field called the game over until the Overlords in the sky box pulled out the Double Secret Clock, giving Michigan another shot at winning. Like Schrödinger's cat, which is both alive and dead, the football game was both over and not over. Double Think in action.
Diversions are key to Big Brother’s control of the population. To keep the common folks occupied and politically inert, Big Brother supplied Prolefeed, which is entertainment for the masses like ancient Rome’s Bread and Circuses, or more recently White House lawn UFC fights and car races in downtown DC.
Big Brother had three main priorities to be Double Thought: “War is Peace. Freedom is Slavery. Ignorance is Strength.”
The Ministry of Love was in charge of law, order and obedience. If you believed, you were practicing Good Think. If you did not agree with the Party’s position, you were guilty of Thought Crime.
The Ministry of Love’s Thought Police would round you up to send you to the Joy Camp for indoctrination or extermination. Some soreheads might apply the term Thought Police for ICE and Joy Camps for DHS detention camps. But that would be wrong and Thought Crime.
If you really stepped outside of the Party line, you would end up in Room 101 in the Ministry of Love where something Double Plus Ungood would happen to you. If you were too much trouble, you would become an Unperson, vaporized, and all references to your existence wiped out.
It was necessary to keep the masses riled up by an enemy. To do so, citizens were required to participate in a daily Two Minute Hate where enemies of the Big Brother would appear on all the TV screens.
The people would then scream hatred and threats at the TV against whoever the enemy of the day was. Once a year, there was Hate Week, in which everyone was required to spend a week hating who Big Brother hated. Ungood things would happen if you didn’t scream your hate loud enough.
If you did not screw up your face into an appropriate grimace of hate, you were guilty of Face Crime, which led to a visit from the Thought Police.
One of my favorite New Speak terms is Duck Speak, which is the ability to talk using only your larynx without using your brain to recite mindlessly whatever Big Brother wanted you to say. Quacking like a duck without thought is the ideal means to stay out of the clutches of the Ministry of Love and Room 101.
The protagonist of "1984" was Winston, who worked in the Ministry of Truth rewriting news articles and books to comply with the current Party line. Old newspaper articles that did not agree with Big Brother’s recent lies were tossed into the Memory Hole and burned to eliminate anything contrary to Big Brother’s current position. Rewriting history was crucial for Big Brother. His quote was “ Who controls the past controls the future: who controls the present controls the past.”
Ponder the Memory Hole’s success in destroying Confederate statutes or the metamorphosis of the violent DC January 6 rioters into peaceful tourists filled with love.
Who are you going to believe? Big Brother or your lying eyes? Practice Good Think by believing 2+2 = 5.
Cheer up. It could be worse. You could be a Western Michigan football fan.
(Illustration by Pitt Dickey)
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