Nobody’s going to argue when I say that our country is in a complicated place these days. You can feel it in the news, around the dinner table, even in the grocery store line. And I don’t think anyone would argue with this either: families are complicated, too. Now, mix those two things together—a complicated country and a complicated family—and it gets even trickier. Especially when the folks around the table see the country through different lenses. That’s when things get really complicated.
Are our modern day families so torn up by political differences that gathering around the kitchen island without an argument around the daily news is more and more uncommon? Is our country now so divided and passionate that we are headed towards another civil war?
I hope not on both counts.
In Measure of Devotion, a new novel by Raleigh native Nell Joslin, these complicated, age-old family dynamics play out for the Shelburne family during the Civil War in South Carolina. At first glance, this might seem to be just another Southern novel about the war.
But Joslin is not just telling a Southern story. She weaves a universal narrative that applies to us today. The Shelburnes’ saga is rooted in the past, but echoes powerfully right now.
Susannah and Jacob Shelburne live in secessionist South Carolina but are quiet abolitionists. Their servants are no longer enslaved, and the Shelburnes consider them their friends and equals. They do not press their anti-slavery beliefs on others, but subtly oppose the widespread Southern culture. Speaking out publicly would put them in danger in their community, so they push back in subtle ways.
As I was pulled deeper into the story, a question gnawed at me. Why were the Shelburnes not more outspoken? Jacob acknowledges early in the novel, “I confess that in this way I am living a lie. But I know no help for it. Though I cannot say I love my state, I do love my home and my farm…. It is a Gordian knot.” The Shelburnes struggle to parent their teenage son Francis, a Confederate sympathizer. Francis only grows more defiant and joins the Confederate army. The metaphorical Gordian knot is tightened by Susannah’s struggle to save her son after he is wounded fighting for a cause she abhors.
How does a beloved son come to embrace a culture his parents spent their life resisting? Part of the answer lies in time and place. He grows up in a world where many voices around him lift up those very values, even glorifying slavery and war. And like adolescents in every era, he’s itching to push back against his parents.
“You think I’m a child. Christ, I cannot wait to be rid of this house and everyone in it,” he tells Susannah as he prepares to war.
Sound familiar? Maybe your child didn’t use those exact words. Maybe you didn’t. But chances are, at some point, you’ve heard something close—or said something just as sharp in your own teenage years. It’s part of the long, complicated story of growing up and breaking away.
That old metaphor of the Gordian knot still holds power today. We’re living in a time when the tangles of belief, identity, and loyalty feel impossible to sort out. And it’s not just in the headlines—it’s close to home. We’re neighbors to, and sometimes parents or grandparents of, people who see the world in ways we can’t quite understand. The bonds of family and community haven’t gone away—but they’ve gotten more complicated.
If you are struggling with the news of today’s front pages, or if you are disagreeing with a loved one, pick up Measure of Devotion. Joslin, via Susannah, reminds us that these complicated struggles—between family, identity, and belief—aren’t anything new. And, spoiler alert: there are no perfect endings to these struggles.