The Hangover Part II  (Rated R)  Three Stars06-15-11-hangover.jpg

I wanted to see Kung Fu Panda, but the Internet Movie Database had the times wrong. Darn you Internet Movie Database! Darn you to Heck! So I’m stuck with The Hangover Part II, (102 minutes). Director Todd Phillips does pretty much the same movie as the original but sets it in Bangkok. And just like the first movie, they are already talking sequel. If they had planned this a little better, they would have gone to Tijuana for this move and saved Bangkok for the third, but since everyone concerned must know how stupid these movies are, and be really shocked they keep mak-ing money they probably figured, why wait?

It is about two years since the boys went to Vegas for the bach-elor party. I still can’t get the three best friends song out of my head, and apparently neither can Stu (Ed Helms) or Phil (Bradley Cooper), since Alan (Zach Galifianakis) isn’t invited to Stu’s upcoming wedding in Thailand. At least not until Doug (Justin Bartha), apparently still making things up to his wife (Sasha Barrese), promises her that he will try to get Alan an invite. Which doesn’t exactly make him popular with his friends, since Alan is still nuts.

They arrange a last-minute trip to Thailand that someone puts them all on the same flight. You would think they would have consulted Alan’s psychiatrist (there is NO WAY he is not in therapy. At the very least, he must be getting a ton of prescriptions from someone), but nope. At the airport, Alan meets Teddy (Mason Lee who can’t act and is only in the movies because his father is Ang Lee. Sorry dude. You know it’s true), Stu’s future brother-in-law. Alan, threat-ened by a newcomer as only someone in the middle of a never-ending adoles-cence can be, acts even odder.

They make it to Stu’s soon-to-be father-in-law’s house, but he’s kind of a jerk. The boys end up around a campfire with sealed beer and marshmallows, only to wake up the next morning with a sequel to the world’s worst hangover. They have no idea where there are, how they got there, etc. They find Leslie Chow (Ken Jeong, still a caricature) and a chain-smoking monkey passed out around the room. Which, wow. It’s bad enough you think your little crapfest is perfect for the cameo of a convicted rapist, while being just too classy to fea-ture Mel Gibson. But a chain-smoking monkey? Monkeys are always a good choice, but having him smoke crosses a line! NO, I can’t exactly define the line, but I know it when I see it! I mean, I defend their right to do it, but I refuse to find it anything other than horrifying.

Similar to their quest to find Doug in the first film, the boys head out to find Teddy with no idea what they are doing. They get called to the Thailand drunk tank, but it turns out some Buddhist monk had Teddy’s identification, so they need to get the Buddhist monk to talk them through the previous night. Unfortunately, this particular monk has taken a vow of silence, so after finding a business card in the monk’s pocket, they re-trace their steps. They end up in a tattoo parlor, and the tattoo guy sends them to a monastery where they get beaten with staves for being obnoxious morons. Finally!

There’s mass confusion and car chases and Russian mobsters and Billy Joel songs, gunfights and a not whole lot else. Enjoy, if that’s your thing.

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