I read about a free criminal records search, Just for fun, I put in my girlfriend’s name, and out popped a misdemeanor larceny charge from several years ago. We’re in our mid-20s, dating seriously for two years, and have discussed marriage. I don’t think this is THAT big of a deal, but it hurts and disappoints me because I’ve been totally honest about everything in my life. How do I bring this up? Or should I?
                          —Unlucky Strike
    {mosimage}Since you’ve been “totally honest” about everything in your life, don’t stop now: “You know, Honey, one afternoon, there was nothing on TV, so I thought I’d look into your criminal past. You know...just for fun.” At the moment, you have no idea whether she’s a career shoplifter or whether she and her sorority sisters got pinched “stealing” the moose head out of the frat house next door. Yet, you don’t think it’s “THAT big of a deal” — maybe because she’s shown herself to have such sterling character, or maybe because it would be a real drag if it turned out she didn’t. Love isn’t ignoring somebody’s faults; it’s facing them and deciding you can stomach them. Once you learn the real deal on hers,  you’re sure to have a question or two — either “Will you marry me?” or “What’s in your wallet (and did you happen to take it out of my wallet)?”

    I’ve been dating my boyfriend for two years, and I’m miserable. I want to break it off, but he moved to Colorado to be with me while I finish college, and has no friends here. The last thing I want to do is hurt him. I was thinking about moving back home and finishing college there. 

    How could you ditch him in that barren wasteland where he toils in the biting cold breaking rocks on the work gang and eating only stale crusts of bread and watery soup? All because he moved to Siberia to be with you. Oh, sorry — Colorado. No, breaking up isn’t a laugh riot, but if a guy’s going to get dumped somewhere, a mountain paradise with hordes of hot ski bunnies isn’t exactly the Gulag annex. And besides, he chose to move there. As for your idea of moving home to finish school, if it’s for educational reasons, have at it. When the U-Haul pulls up, he’s sure to figure it out.

    Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA  90405, or e-mail (

    (c)2008, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved.

Latest Articles

  • Why are Carolina Native American tribes at war with each other?
  • 7 Branch Farm celebrates National Day of the Cowboy
  • My party, right or wrong’
  • Apologies for this half-baked Alaska column
  • City Councilman Dan Culliton declines to run in next election
  • County high school grads awarded scholarships
Up & Coming Weekly Calendar
Advertise Your Event: