As a person of a certain age, one of the questions I’m asked when I call or see my primary care physician is, “Do you feel unsteady when standing or walking?”
To be honest, I feel a little unsteady that they asked. I realize they’re just looking out for my well-being, but no. I don’t otherwise feel unstable.
When we were children, falling was part of the deal. We fell learning to walk. We fell off bicycles, playground equipment and whatever else somebody told us not to climb. We scraped knees, bruised elbows, cried for a minute and usually got back up.
Somewhere along the way, though, falling became something we learned to fear. Adults aren't supposed to fall. We're supposed to have the plan, make the payment, keep the job, hold the family together and know what comes next. We become pretty good at building lives designed to keep us upright.
Then life reminds us that we were never completely in control. A diagnosis comes. A relationship changes. A career ends. Someone we love dies. The carefully planned future suddenly looks nothing like the one we expected.
I can still recall how excited I was to get my first bicycle at about six years old. One of my mom’s best friends had a husband whose side hustle was fixing and selling used bikes.
In the 1960s, a kid could get a bike, jump on without a helmet and ride the neighborhood streets all they wanted. My parents let me ride that bike several blocks, through intersections and everything, that first day. I took the long way home, and they never gave it a second thought.
The only thing I didn’t know how to do was stop.
I simply had no idea how to apply the brakes, slow down and get off the bike while maintaining some sense of dignity. In other words, I had to learn to fall.
Now that I’m older, and perhaps even a little wiser, I look back and realize I’ve had the opportunity to replay that lesson many times over.
I’ve tumbled and stumbled just about every way a person can. And while it hasn’t gotten to be more fun, I’ve learned that those experiences can make me useful to people who are wobbling a little themselves.
I know what it’s like to hit the bottom. But I also know the experience doesn’t have to be the end. There’s a proverb that says a righteous person may fall seven times and rise again. Maybe that’s more than just a saying about perseverance. Maybe it’s an observation about life.
Perhaps one of the most important things we learn isn't how to keep from falling. Maybe it's how to fall. Or, more than that, how to get back up—no matter how long it takes, or how many tries.