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Don’t you just love the Internet!?!

Our recent “weather event”— as I actually heard one television news anchor refer to the snow and ice smothering a good part of our nation — gave me plenty of time to surf the Web. A meeting I had assumed would take most of a day was cancelled, so I had an entire day of unexpected, but welcome freedom inside my own house. Such fun!

I read book and movie reviews, caught up on most of the too many magazines I take and checked online with friends and neighbors to make sure everyone was weathering the storm. When I could stand sitting in front of the screen no more, I made two pots of soup and a chocolate cake!

I surfed both out of curiosity on subjects I do not usually have time to learn about and just for fun. I confess to being a digital immigrant, but how did I find out anything before the Internet?

We all know we Americans adore lists, and there are lists galore on the Web.

Inexplicable laws that make you wonder why someone thought of that. Every state has them, and here are a few gathered by The Huffington Post.

You will be zapped in Alabama if you wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in a church. A pickle cannot be considered a real pickle in Connecticut unless it bounces — not sure about eating that! If you tie your elephant to a parking meter in Florida you must feed the meter just as you would if the critter were a vehicle. If your frog dies during a frog-jumping contest in California, it is illegal to eat him. EEW! 

Planning to be in Idaho over Valentine’s Day? Be careful — it is illegal to give your sweetie a box of chocolate weighing more than 50 pounds! No wife-beater tees in Maryland parks, where wearing a sleeveless shirt risks a $10 fine. In Massachusetts, it is illegal to own an exploding golf ball. I would love to know why that one got enacted. I would not dream of trying this anywhere, but in Missouri it is illegal to drive with an uncaged bear. And, heaven forbid you should try this at home, but in Minnesota, it is illegal to cross state lines with a duck on your head. In New Jersey, men are not allowed to knit during hunting season, and in Utah, it is illegal NOT to drink milk, lactose intolerance notwithstanding. 

What about the Tar Heel state? Don’t even think about plowing your cotton field with an elephant!

Computers and Web surfing, unlike books, require passwords, and from Gizmodo.com under the title “We’re All Such Idiots” come the 25 most popular passwords. Raise your hand if you are guilty of any of these…123456, password, 12345678, qwerty, 12345, 123456789, football, 1234, 1234567, baseball, welcome (identity thieves must love that one!), 1234567890, abc123, 11111, 1qaz2wsx, dragon, master, monkey, letmein, login, princess, qwertyuiop, solo, password (again!) and starwars. 

As long as we choose passwords like these, crooks will laugh all the way into our bank accounts.

From the “Mouths of Babes” department with a nod to Art Linkletter’s “Kids Say the Darnedest Things” comes a series of questions.

1. How to decide who to marry? You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. Alan, age 10

2. How can a stranger tell if two people are married? You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. Derrick, age 8

3. What do you think your mom and dad have in common? Both don’t want any more kids. Lori, age 8

4. What do most people do on a date? Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. Lynnette, age 8

5. When is it okay to kiss someone? The law says you have to be 18, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that. Curt, age 7

Another child had another view. The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do. Howard, age 8

6. Is it better to be single or married? It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. Anita, age 9

7. How would the world be different if people didn’t get married? There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there? 

8. And my personal favorite….

How would you make a marriage work? Tell your wife she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck. Ricky, age 10

That boy has a future in the diplomatic corps.


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