News flash: You’re all rubes.
    At least, that is, every American who doesn’t drink the far left, liberal Democratic brand of socialist Kool-Aid and froth at the mouth indignantly about the lack of governmental experience and general incompetency of vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin.
    That’s the scoop according to the media — the overwhelming majority of whom are registered (if registered at all) Democrats.
    How do I know most members of the media are Democrats? Because I am a card carrying member of that pack of journalistic jackals who fancy themselves king makers and king breakers. In my 20 years of working in newspapers, attending journalism conferences, and drinking hard whisky in seedy bars with my brothers and sisters of the fourth estate, I’ve found Republican reporters to be about as common as attractive females at a convention of the National Organization of Women.
    Did you know that in journalism school aspiring reporters are taught to write copy at a fourth- to fifth-grade level so the readers can “get it?” That’s what the media elite thinks of everyman’s ability to grasp such difficult concepts as “What the definition of is, is.”
    Celebrities are another group who believe anyone not fawning over Barack Obama like a 12-year-old girl worshipping at the altar of the Jonas Brothers is a by-God, gun obsessed, Bible slinging yokel with an IQ measured in single digits.
    {mosimage}Recently, intellectual titan and spokesman savant for PETA and the Democratic Party, Pamela Anderson-Kid Rock-Lee, flexed her silicone … uh … muscles by slamming Palin with the following erudite barb: “I can’t stand her! She can suck it!”
    Bravo, Pam. Simply brilliant. Those seven years spent earning your bachelor’s degree at the Nancy Pelosi Community College and Home for Wayward Internet Porn Sensations is really paying off.
    Another celebrity who has taken Palin to task for her inexperience and “radical” views (Oh my God! The woman actually believes in God! She owns guns! She supports our military!) is thespian Matt Damon, who, when he’s not earning his living making films featuring the latest in submachine guns and rocket launchers, is enlightening and educating the illiterate, unwashed masses about such left wing talking points as the need for stricter gun control laws. Uh, Mr. Damon, sorry to interupt today’s lesson, but you’re needed on the set to kill about a million or so Ruskie spies with an unregistered Tec-9.
    Actress Annette Benning also dissed Palin, in between flying with hubby Warren Beatty around the globe in private jets, attending film premiers via a fleet of de rigueur limousines, and hitching a ride in Barbra Streisand’s Hummer — all so she could join Michael Moore and George Clooney for the latest lecture/rant by Al Gore about how we can reduce our carbon footprint by reducing America’s dependence on fossil fuels.
    Yes, folks, the media and celebrities are much smarter and much more enlightened than you and I when it comes to making decisions on who should be our political leaders — don’t take my word for it, just check out the nightly liberal love fests emceed by Katie Couric or Keith Olbermann under the guise of “real news.” Or, give a listen to economics wonk Paris Hilton, who reportedly recently reviewed every morsel of Obama’s campaign platform … all three lines of it … before exclaiming, “Like, you know, that Sally Palintino lady would be, like, a really bad choice for … uh … whatever she’s running for.”
    So, fellow rubes, break out your voting guide and go ahead and pencil in the Obama/ Biden ticket without examining their pasts or their past voting records (or lack thereof) — Lord knows the media’s not going to delve into the bone yard that’s rattling around in Barack’s or Tailgunner Joe’s closets. So relax and park your little brains in front of the tube for another episode of The Real World and ignore the real issues that are taking America down faster than Teddy Kennedy can knock back a tumbler of scotch.
    It’s just the right thing to do … stupid.

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