Do things seem a bit odd to you lately? Do you find yourself being a chip off the old blockchain? Confused? Puzzled by the latest developments?
Well, Bunky, you have come to the right place. Mr. Science is here today to explain life to you. After both of my faithful readers finish this column, all will be understood. As Alex said in “A Clockwork Orange,” the meaning of life will be “As clear as an unmuddied lake. As clear as an azure sky of deepest summer. You can rely on me, friend.”
Let us begin by noting a couple of recent curious art world events which in the first blue light of morning seem unrelated and hard to understand. Life is controlled by the Prime Directive that there are no coincidences, everything is related to everything else. The Prime Directive, like gravity, is not just a good idea, it’s the law.
Herein lies the tale of when Beeple met MetaKovan. An artist named Beeple sold an NFT for $69 million. This was good news for Beeple and the Christie Auction House which handled the sale. Right now you are probably asking yourself, “Self, who is Beeple, what is an NFT, and who paid $69 million for a JPEG computer image?”
As Samuel L. Jackson said in "Pulp Fiction," “Allow me to retort.” Beeple turns out to be the nom de plume of Mike Winkelmann who lives just down the road from us in Charleston, South Carolina, which incidentally is also the home of the world-famous Purple Buffalo night club. Beeple is a computer geek who is also an artist.
He created the digital artwork called “Everydays: The First 5000 Years” as a Non Fungible Token, which abbreviates into NFT. An NFT is essentially a picture on the internet similar to cats playing the piano on Facebook. But unlike the musical cats which anyone can copy, an NFT original only shows up in one place on the owner’s computer screen. The original digital image uses the same magic that Bitcoin’s block chain uses to keep track of who owns which Bitcoin. Mr. Science does not understand how Bitcoin works. It just is, at least for the time being until it vanishes into the digital ether.
The new proud owner of Beeple’s masterpiece is an art patron named Vignesh Sundaresan who also goes by the superhero name of MetaKovan.
MetaKovan made his money in the crypto currency market which is where “Everydays” was born. MetaKovan explained he would have paid even more for the “Everydays” JPEG as it represents the first digital art asset which will become a part of art history. So now you know about NFTs. Aren’t you glad you stuck around? But wait, there is more in the bonus round below.
Also, from the Art Desk comes the news that over 15,000 people have signed a petition on Change.org urging Amazon’s Jeff Bezos to buy and eat the "Mona Lisa."
The petition is quite simple: It says “Nobody has eaten the 'Mona Lisa' and we feel Jeff Bezos needs to take a stand and make this happen.” Why you might ask, should Jeff Bezos purchase and devour the "Mona Lisa?"
Signers of the petition have offered a number of reasons: “Who else is gonna eat it?," “I’m signing to draw attention to how ridiculous and dangerous this level of capital accumulation is. No one should be that rich," “It should be rolled up like a froot roll up and swallowed whole”, “There are billionaires in Asia who can’t even afford to eat a de Kooning, and here is the richest man in the world refusing to eat a perfectly good da Vinci," “Come on Jeff, you know you want to," “Mona Lisa is just the appetizer before the Sistine Chapel," "I believe this will truly help the world."
This list goes on and on. There is a ground swell of support for Jeff to eat the "Mona Lisa." The USA Today article estimated Jeff has a net worth of $201 billion and the estimated worth of the "Mona Lisa" today is about $850 million. Mere pocket change for Jeff. It is definitely doable if the French government will cooperate. If France won’t sell, Jeff can just buy France, allowing him to own the "Mona Lisa." Then it’s break out the Texas Pete hot sauce and chow down on the
To the untrained eye, these events may seem insane. However, consider what Deputy Barney Fife said when Andy and Helen got trapped in a cave. Barney told Thelma Lou the reason he didn’t like caves is because of bats.
Barney: “Bats. Do you know what they do? They fly in your hair and get tangled up in there and lay their eggs and you go crazy. You want a head full of bat eggs? Well, I don’t.”
Clearly what has happened is too many people have been going into caves. They have gotten their hair full of bat eggs. Barney was right all along. The world has gone crazy.
Today’s lesson: Wear a hat. Avoid bat eggs in your hair. Remain calm and save the "Mona Lisa."