It’s that time again. The weather is warm, the Dogwood Festival was a smash hit and the 4th Friday will be here in no time.

If you haven’t had a chance to check out the Public Works exhibit at the Arts Council Fayetteville/Cumberland County, the exhibit will hang through June 18. Fayetteville PWC sponsors the event every year, giving the public a chance to showcase their talents in the community.

There are more than 100 pieces of work on display this year, providing a wide variety of work and skill levels. As is custom, the public voted for their favorite pieces and named “Zion Narrows Canyon” by Wick Smith as the first place winner. Stop by and see who else the community favored.

This 4th Friday, enjoy Summer Swing with Gregg Gelb’s jazz band from 7-9 p.m. The band was such big hit last year, that they’ve been invited back to entertain the crowds again.

“He does all the big band music and they have a really great sound. We’ll put a dance floor down in the grand hall and we have the Cape Fear Ballroom Dancers and the Swing Dance Heritage Club coming out, too,” said Kelvin Culbreath, Arts Council of Fayetteville/Cumberland County director of special events and facility management. “Both of those groups come out and cut the rug, so to speak. In fact, they sometimes are more of the show than the band. They do a really good job of pulling people out of the crowd and getting them out on the floor.

”Outside on Maxwell Street, artists sell and demonstrate their work from 6 to 10 p.m. at Arts Alive. This monthly event celebrates its one-year anniversary in May. In the past, artists have included musicians, basket weavers, painters, potters and glass blowers. It’s always an adventure and a nice surprise to see who will show up on Maxwell Street to educate and entertain the crowds.

In partnership with Miller-Motte College, the Downtown Alliance presents Restaurant and Military Appreciation Night this 4th Friday. There will be military discounts offered at several of the restaurants, shops and boutiques downtown. What a great way to say “thank-you” as the community winds up a month of festivities geared at showing the military community how much they mean to the Cumberland County community.

Don’t miss Shadows of the Fire on the 300 block of Hay Street. The group will perform a variety of American belly dance styles, which draw inspiration from the dance traditions of many different cultures and countries.

On the 100 block of Hay Street, Musha Dojo will demonstrate Jujitsu, Aikido, Arnis, Kung Fu,and Hapkido. According to the Downtown Alliance website, “They are a unique martial arts center. The North Carolina home of Atemi Ryu Jujitsu has brought together the best martial artists in Fayetteville and built a school where sharing knowledge is the most important thing. We welcome students and teachers from all martial disciplines and have opened our mats to teachers of several martial disciplines. Represented arts are from Japan, China, Korea and the Philippines.”

City Center Gallery and Books offers a new artist or writer at the store each 4th Friday. This month, the book store will feature the photography of professional photographer, Aimee. The works on display will be primarily black and white. Music will be provided by Nic Holliday.

These are just a few of the great events that will be taking place downtown on 4th Friday. Arts Alive is from 6-9 p.m. on Maxwell Street and the rest of downtown begins the celebration at 7 p.m. For more information, visit www.theartscouncil.com or www.fayettevillealliance.com. 

Photo: Enjoy Summer Swing at 4th Friday with Gregg Gelg's jazz band.

Who doesn’t want to live in a safe community? In an effort to make the Fayetteville/Cumberland County area a safer place to work and live, Operation Ceasefire is reaching out to the public toeducate and create relationships that will lead to that end.

Movie nights are one way they are reaching out. In partnership with Cumberland/Fayetteville Parks and Recreation, Operation Ceasefire presents an Outdoor Movie Series. The Outdoor Movie Series is designed to give youth and their families a fun and safe environment to enjoy their evening. The movies are shown each month at various recreation centers in the community through October. Show time is 7:30 p.m. and admission is free. Originally designed to be an outdoor event (so bring a blanket or chair), the movies will be shown inside in the case of inclement weather.

Popcorn and soft drinks are complimentary, and several local businesses have pitched in to provide free give aways, too.

Last year, the movie night event touched more than 6,200 people who attended the movies and through the course of the season more than 500 children signed “The Pledge,” in which they promised to do their part in reducing gun violence in schools. Operation Ceasefire coordinators are hopeful that attendance will grow this year and reach even more citizens in the community.

“Operation Ceasefire is an initiative at the local level that seeks to reduce gun and gang violence. We do that through a comprehensive strategy that includes prevention, intervention, suppression and outreach,” said Operation Ceasefi re spokesperson Charla Suggs. “Our movie nights are part of our outreach. We also incorporate some prevention strategies there as well. The heart of our movie night is to reach out to Fayetteville and Cumberland County residents and give them an opportunity to come out for some safe family fun with the men and women of law enforcement and have a positive interaction with the men and women who serve them every single day.”

Suggs also noted that part of building a strong community, fostering a sense of community is a benefi t of Operation Ceasefi re movie nights.

“Unfortunately, that is one of the things that Cumberland County also lacks a real sense of community and connectedness to the people that you live and work alongside every day,” said Suggs. “So we are trying to provide an opportunity to do that within a safe context and positive interactions. We want the men and women of law to be the heroes of our young people, and rightfully so. Unfortunately, that is not the case sometimes, because people see them in negative, stressful or emotional situations.”

Movies are scheduled for:

• Friday, May 27: Festival Park in Fayetteville as a kick-off to Glory Days

• Friday, June 17: The Church of The Apostles, 1419 H. Bullard Rd., Hope Mills

• Friday, August 12: Kingdom Impact Global Ministries, 2503 Murchison Rd.

• Friday, September 9: Hope Mills Parks & Recreation Ball Field #1 as part of the Back to School Celebration

• Friday, October 28: JP Riddle Stadium as part of Trunk or Treat & Movie (candy only).

Call 484-1989 to find out more.

Remember Donald Trump? Where has he gone? I miss him. Way back before President Obi whacked Osama bin Fishfood, the Donald was everywhere on the news spouting Birther bromides. The media loved Donald. The goofi er the pronouncements he made, the more air time he got. We saw more of The Donald than of Flo the Insurance Gal with the ruby red lips. Then Osama had his night time visit from the Navy Seals. Osama went to join Don Corleone’s favorite hitman Luca Brasi sleeping with the fi shes. The fickle American media abruptly forgot about the Donald. It was all Dead Osama, all the time. The end of media focus on the Donald was a terrible loss for America. Clearly the American Presidency and The Donald’s fates are intertwined like hotdogs and nitrates.

Donald Trump is the one who can bring us all together. As Rodney King once said, “Can’t we all just get along?” Yes, we can. The Donald is the one to bring about that consummation devoutly to be wished. You may have noticed, there is a bit of division in America between the left and the right. I have a highly Republican friend, whom I shall call Ben, who fl ies on the far right wing side of life. Ben was a Birther before being a Birther was cool. Ben and I have never agreed on anything involving politics. Not once. Not even slightly. I am a big fan of President Obi and suspect he is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Ben suspects President Obi is a Socialist Communist Fascist Kenyan Muslim Space Invader from Planet Nine from outer space. Our political discussions usually end up with us each convinced the other has fallen off the narrow bridge of reason into the yawning abyss of hallucinatory thinking.

But due to the miracle of Donald Trump, now both Ben and I finally agree on something in politics. It is another Festivus Miracle! We both want Donald Trump to be the Republican nominee for President. Our reasoning as to why we want The Donald to be the nominee may vary but our goal is the same. We want The Donald to be the Republican standard bearer.

I was very concerned when President Obi fi nally produced his long form Hawaiian birth certifi cate. Perhaps Trump’s embarrassment on learning that his Birther issue was fake would cause The Donald to fade into the presidential woodwork with Lyndon LaRouche. How wrong could I be? According to Ben, I’m pretty wrong, most of the time. A lesser man, or even a man capable of embarrassment would be chastened for appearing to be a moron when Obi fi nally got around to producing his birth certifi cate and erasing the Birther issue. Our man Donald was not deterred. He puffed up with a second wind and took full credit for proving President Obi was not born on the Planet Kenya.

Trump’s next step was to take on the President’s grades in college. Yep, per the Trumpster, President Obi ended up being the President of the Harvard Law Review due to affi rmative action. According to Trump, we have an affirmative action American President. Despite the loss of the Birther card, Trump has already reframed his Obi assault to manufacture an exciting new issue. Trump is now leading the newly renamed Afterbirthers in their never ending effort to delegitimate President Obi, this time based on his college grades. The Afterbirthers’ work is never done, they just move seamlessly from one bogus issue to the next. Trump is now the High Commissioner of the Afterbirthers in their shiny new assault against President Obi.

Trump, he’s dumber than Palin. He’s got more bizarre theories than Newt Gingrich. He’s got more hair than Tim Pawlenty. He’s tanned and rested. He’s ready to go. He’s just the right guy for the Republican nomination. If Trump doesn’t get the Republican nomination, he is poised to run for President as the Placenta Party nominee composed of Afterbirthers, Tea Party true believers and Moon Landing deniers.

Bless you Donald Trump for the column material I am about to receive.

Photo: Donald Trump

While the rest of the country sets aside one day in May, Memorial Day, to honor military heroes, Fayetteville/Cumberland County dedicates the entire month to doing so with the annual series of events 31 Day Salute, now in its third year. Our community has joined forces to salute our brave soldiers, veterans and their families, and to show our appreciation for their service through various patriotic performances, ceremonies, exhibits, films and fairs.

As America’s First Military Sanctuary, we take our patriotism seriously. Home to Fort Bragg, we have a special connection with those in uniform who have selfl essly put their lives on the line abroad to keep us safe at home. Fayetteville/Cumberland County looks forward to May 1 when we begin celebrating our heroes.

May is a special time when our community bands together to show our patriotic spirit and pay tribute to those who have served or currently serve in the Armed Forces. Many local organizations have expressed a desire to demonstrate their support, and the 31 Day Salute event series gives them a chance to do so. More than 15 community groups are participating this year, from military organizations to cultural and historical associations, each committed to rolling out the red carpet for the military.

31 Day Salute allows us to invite the world to do what we do every day — show our appreciation and respect for those who defend the freedoms we often take for granted.

We encourage and welcome patriots from all over the country to visit Fayetteville/Cumberland County in May to say thank you to those in uniform while enjoying our entertaining events. 31 Day Salute gives us a chance to show our gratitude and express what soldiers, veterans and their families mean to our proud military community.

This year, 31 Day Salute features exciting new events and many returning favorites.

The Fayetteville Area Transportation and Local History Museum will allow history buffs to re-live the American Civil War through the Cumberland County Goes to War exhibit, which observes the Sesquicentennial of the war, remembers the community’s involvement in the war, and includes artifacts, pictures and educational panels.

The Airborne & Special Operations Museum Foundation (ASOM) will host Movie-in-The Camp, where attendees will be transported back to the Korean War-era through the film Jumping Jacks (1952) starring Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis. Prior to the movie, guests can enjoy a performance by The Andrews Sisters Tribute Show featuring choreography, singing, tap dancing, comedy and acting. Also coinciding with Movie-in-The Camp will be a care-package drive hosted by the Army’s Army, a military support group made up of more than 1,200 citizen and business volunteers. Museum attendees will be able to visit the Army’s Army booth and fill care packages with pre-donated items, which will be sent to the troops overseas with the help of Fort Bragg’s Family Readiness Group.

The annual Glory Days event will take place in historical downtown Fayetteville on Memorial Day weekend. From May 14 through June 11, the breathtaking Field of Honor featuring hundreds of flags honoring soldiers and veterans will cover the field near the ASOM and the new impressive North Carolina Veterans Park with red, white and blue.

Those looking to enjoy a true military experience can attend the 82nd Airborne Division’s All American week, which returns after a hiatus last year due to the high number of deployments. The week will include a four-mile run, various sporting and social events, wreath laying ceremonies at several monuments and a division review on Pike Field with troopers in formation — something not to be missed. During this time, the 82nd Living History Detachment will be at the 82nd Airborne Division Museum as well.

A living history program, Military Through the Ages: A March Through History, will be presented at the Museum of the Cape Fear Historical Complex. The event will highlight various time periods throughout United States military history with encampments and educational programs that the entire family can enjoy.

Fayetteville author Dr. Michael C. Hodges will visit the Cumberland County Public Library and Information Center to speak about his book A Doctor Looks at War. The book chronicles his experience in an Army combat support hospital during the initial year of Operation Iraqi Freedom, giving readers a unique look into the war.

Throughout the entire month, Cape Fear Botanical Garden visitors can participate in a Red, White and Blueberry scavenger hunt. The game will take adventurers on a hunt to identify those plant species that are associated with red, white or blueberries. The Cape Fear Botanical Garden will also offer a discounted admission to members of the military.

Fascinate-U Children’s Museum is offering half-price admission to all military families and free admission to families of deployed soldiers all month. In addition, children can create their own Blue Star flag, which symbolizes the sacrifi ces of families in war and is placed in the window of a home.

Clark Park Nature Center will offer half price admission to retired and active military and their spouses for the Cape Fear River Boat Tour — A Military Historic Passage. The boat takes riders down the river and highlights its military history.

In March, to build excitement across the United States for 31 Day Salute, the community kicked off the search for America’s Most Patriotic Person with Patrioke or Patriotic Karaoke.

Enthusiastic patriots have been flocking to local spots such as Cross Creek Mall and Fayetteville State University to compete for the title, all performing the beloved American song Yankee Doodle Dandy. One patriot was crowned as America’s Most Patriotic Person at the Fayetteville Duck Derby. The performances can be seen on a Patrioke YouTube channel.

For a full listing of events, details and participating organizations taking place during 31 Day Salute please visit www.31daysalute.com. With diverse events that will appeal to all ages and interests, there is something for everyone. Fayetteville/Cumberland County invites both locals and out-of-town travelers to come out and join us as we salute soldiers, veterans and their families throughout the month of May.

Skype With Loved ones

We live in a transient world. Families are no longer living on the same farm or within walking distance of one another. They often live miles, states or even continents apart. Fortunately, we have technology that bridges the distance gap. Martha and I were talking with one of our clients recently about a gift his son gave him, a laptop computer with a camera and microphone. He was so excited about the fact that he can now have video con-ferences with his son and grandchildren in New York City. Either one would phone the other to see if they were available for a conference. Then, they all got in front of their computers and con-nected real-time with each other. He not only talked to his grandchildren, but was able to actu-ally see the expressions on their faces. It was the next best thing to being physically together. He even got dressed up for the occasion.

The business world of video conferencing has now moved into the homes of millions of people. The Pew Research Center’s Internet and American Life Project tracked adults using online video technology. They found that 31 percent of people 50 years old and older are using this form of communication. Half of the 31 percent were 65 and older. Skype is a popular software application that allows subscribers to make free voice and video calls over the internet using Voice over Internet Protocol (VoIP) technology. The technology is so straightforward that many teenagers are very capable of helping their grandparents get started.

These real-time connections with family are a huge bonus. Grandparents can place the call and read books to their grandchildren at bedtime, share in the excitement of a report card, or view a newly completed art project. Imagine being able to show your grandchildren one of your special talents and not hav-ing to wait for a visit to show them. How meaningful for them and you to be able to share with each other on a regular basis.

Because of the ease in getting it set up, many people are applying it to a variety of situations. One example really impressed me. Nancy Crawford, a 100 year old resident of an assisted living facility in Charlotte, N.C., went to her doctor appointment with a geriatric care manager who brought along a laptop with a webcam, microphone, and Skype connection. Her grandson, six hours away, was able to see, hear and be involved with what was happening at the doctor’s office and be engaged in the care his grandmother was receiving. He even noticed his grandmother was wearing the new wig he gave her as a birthday gift. Great use of technology

!Connecting with loved ones has never been easier. Think beyond cell phones and text mes-sages. Think beyond emails and downloaded photos. Using a home computer, internet appli-cation, webcam and microphone, you can con-nect with someone in real-time - you are looking right at them, and they at you, on your computer screen. You’ll be surprised how enjoyable it is once you get started.

Feet of Clay

I was just getting into the CDs of Three Cups of Tea: One Man’s Mission to Promote Peace….One School at a Time by Greg Mortenson and his collaborator, journalist David O. Relin, when Mortenson tumbled unceremoniously off his lofty pedestal in the world of doing good.

In case you have not read — or in my case, listened to — this book, it is Mortenson’s account of how in 1993, after failing to climb the world’s second highest mountain, K2, on the border between China and Pakistan, he was nursed back to health and strength by the residents of a remote Pakistani village.

So bowled over was Mortenson by the villagers’ kindness, he says, that he built them a school and has devoted the years since to building other schools in both Pakistan and Afghanistan. All of this has brought him the praise and respect of the world, with talking heads everywhere commenting that this, not armed combat, is the better way to build nations and to make friends in places not our natural allies. Also coming to Mortenson has been lots and lots of money as generous hearts from every corner of the globe donated to his foundation, the Central Asia Institute or CAI, to build schools for people who would never set foot in one otherwise.

Mortenson’s sudden fall from near sainthood came last month after CBS’s long-running investigative news program 60 Minutes checked out Mortenson’s claims and alleged, sadly, that they just are not true.

No kindly villagers nursing this American back to health. No abduction by the wicked Taliban. Not as many operational schools as the CAI has said, and perhaps, most damaging of all, some slick and questionable accounting of CAI’s contributed resources.

I think most of us have an immediate gut reaction to stories like this of “Please, say it ain’t so!”

We want to believe that people who seem to be going good, people who hold themselves out as our leaders, people who seem special in some way, really are good and solid through and through, that they, unlike ourselves and other mere mortals, really are what they hold themselves out to be.

We want them to be true heroes, and we feel sad and betrayed when they turn out to be just like everyone else, imperfect human beings.

This desire is what makes us so cynical about people in public life, especially political life. Think the messy private lives of Thomas Jefferson, John Kennedy and Newt Gingrich; the ethical issues surrounding Tom DeLay; and the countless other elected offi cials who have not lived up to the trust others put into them.

How, we ask ourselves, can they publicly inspire us with lofty rhetoric about doing the right thing and then do the wrong thing in private?

And it is not just political figures.

The world of philanthropy is littered with people like Mortenson who often start out with the best of intentions but who somehow succumb to the temptation of all that money, either living high on the hog from it or sometimes just plain helping themselves to some. Government officials fall into the expense account trap as well, as we have seen recently in our own community.

Yet when all is said and done, every positive thing that occurs in our world, every good deed accomplished, every wise decision is done by flawed human beings, because there simply is no other kind. We cannot all be Johnny Appleseed or Mother Teresa but we can share with them our common and imperfect natures.

That being said, I did return the audio rendition of Three Cups of Tea to the library without listening to all of it. I am happy that some schools were built and that some children learned when they would not have otherwise. I just did not want to listen to all the hypocrisy and self-promotion that accompanied the good works.• • •

A final word on Osama bin Laden

I have been writing for Up & Coming Weekly since 2001, since before Osama committed the worst domestic assault in our nation’s history. Shortly before July 4th of 2002, my column was an open letter to Osama, which concluded with this, “And rest assured, Osama, that whatever you may be doing on this American holiday, we have you in our thoughts and in our sights.”

Almost 10 years after that column, we did indeed get him, and some people are now asking for photographic confi rmation of his death even though we have proof that cannot be faked, a DNA match.

My take on that is this: We all know certain things exist in this world, the John Edwards sex tape for example, but that does not mean that our government should show them to us

Dylan Dog: Dead of Night (Rated PG-13)One Star

If Dylan Dog (107 min-utes) had been a SyFy origi-nal, maybe we could cut it some slack for being such an awful, awful movie. However this piece of celluloid gar-bage simply has no reason to exist. It is not resurrecting much-beloved pop stars and having them fight each other/get dismembered and eaten by Dinocroc, it is not funding awesomely complex shows like Battlestar Galactica, it is not even employing quality CGI animation companies.

The movie is based on a popular Italian graphic novel written by the same dude that did Cemetery Man(Aside: In that film Rupert Everett is wearing the Dylan Dog uniform since Cemetery Man is the alter ego of Dylan Dog). Knowing the pedigree of the movie, at first glance I had fairly high expectations. Then Natasa began listing all the reasons why the movie would suck, and she pointed out that Brandon Routh was a truly terrible casting choice. And really, Brandon Routh, Natasa had a point. You pretty much suck hard core. You made it utterly pointless for me to even try watching Smallville, your middle name is Smirking Moron, your delivery is wooden and your hair looks like its covered in oil even when it is not.

She then pointed out that it was a cheap compromise to change the sidekick character from a Groucho Marx look-alike (yes, we all agree that foreign comics are weird) into a postmodern zombie. I came to my own conclusions regarding the clumsily obvious attempt to cash in on the success of Trueblood by calling all the vampires truebloods, the offensiveness of changing the setting from London to New Orleans, and the stupidity of having the tagline read “No Pulse? No problem?,” when your lead character doesn’t deal exclusively with the undead. You know what movie that makes? It’s the little things. And cashing in on the Twilight werewolf connection completely invalidates your tagline.

Too bad for the movie that neither the plot nor the dialogue makes up for any of these problems. It is hard to remember what happened at the beginning. Even though I saw this less than 24 hours ago, my mind is blanking in self-defense. I think the movie starts with a murder. Some blond chick (Anita Briem) chosen more for cuteness than her ability to act is dancing around and then dis-covers the body. Scene change. Dylan Dog (Brandon “Smirking Moron” Routh) is awoken by someone’s husband…he is a private investigator specializing in divorce cases, or at least he is now. Apparently there is an entire movie’s worth of backstory that the screenwriters have seen fit to fill us in via flashback since they were too freaking lazy to put together a decent origin story movie. He plays verbal footsy with his guest, which is supposed to serve as a character establish-ing guns-don’t-scare-you-once-you-you-have-lived-a-tragic-backstory scene but instead mostly serves to remind me why Routh should never be allowed to have speaking roles, and is then off to meet with a potential client.

He arrives at cute blonde’s murder house with his sidekick (Sam Huntington) and then gets very upset when she explains she wants to hire him for his supernatural detecting, which he retired from. And we will need to listen to about 50 different characters talk about how they thought he was retired, and then hear him explain that he is retired, except for this one case, and then replay other, better, movies in our heads because those scenes are both painful and endless. Taye Diggs is here doing penance for the short-lived Daybreak, and the bloated remains of Peter Stormare also wander on and off the set.

Overall, don’t bother. This is worse than a Marti Noxon scripted season seven episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The beginning is tedious and the ending fails to resolve anything. My eyes rolled so often during the course of this movie I actually gave myself eyestrain. It’s not funny, it’s not quirky, it’s not scary, it’s not interesting, and there are massive plot holes re-sulting from flat-out lazy writing.

On Saturday, May 21, the Museum of the Cape Fear Historical Complex will pay tribute to our nation’s military history with the special event Military Through the Ages: A March Through History. From 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., this free event will feature living history presentations, educational programs and entertainment. Re-enactors representing different time periods will bring to life military history on the grounds of the Fayetteville Arsenal, and guest speakers in the museum will discuss such topics as War of 1812 tactics and the history of African Americans in our armed forces.

In the past, the program has focused on U.S. military history, in conjunction with Armed Forces Day, featuring reenactors from America’s various wars and military adventures. This year we have expanded the program to include other countries, friend and foe alike, creating a unique living history experience for the visitor. Reenactors will represent familiar time periods such as colonial soldiers from the Revolutionary War and Union and Confederate reenactors representing the Civil War. Some of the lesser-known conflicts featured include the War of 1812, Spanish-American War and the Anglo-Zulu wars of the 1870s. Reenactors will be portraying War of 1812 sailors, U.S. Volunteers in Cuba, as well as British soldiers of the late Victorian era, and World War II German soldiers … complete with correct period uniforms, and in some cases, original weapons and equipment. Encampments will feature tents, campfi re cooking and displays of uniforms, equipment and personal effects, as well as the ever-popular horse drawn artillery display.

For those that like to celebrate spring with a bang, there will be weapons demonstrations throughout the day. From primitive fl intlock muskets of the Colonial era, to Civil War fi eld artillery, modern repeating rifl es and machine guns, the visitor will get a fi rst-hand experience of the evolution of military weapons. The changes in weaponry offer a fascinating look, not only at tactics, but technology and innovation. Military Through the Ages: A March Through History will feature a one-of-a-kind demonstration utilizing many different weapons, creating a memorable experience of sight and sound.

For the young, and young-at-heart, there will be children’s activities, food and live music. The whole family can enjoy old-time folk music from the Civil War era performed by Norm Boggs and Rob Morrison. Their performances not only include music from by-gone days, but music that is performed on period, antique instruments to achieve a true, unvarnished 19th century sound.

For the second year in a row, Museum of the Cape Fear will collaborate with the JROTC students from Western Harnett High School to present a spectacular flag ceremony. This impressive program features cadets with uniforms and fl ags representing every American conflict from the Revolutionary War to the Global War on Terror. As part of their curriculum, the cadets from Western Harnett also preserve and maintain an extensive collection of military vehicles, from the World War II and Vietnam eras. Their support group will be on hand to provide BBQ, soft drinks and snacks as part of their fundraising activities.

As part of the ongoing 150th anniversary of the Civil War, The Museum of the Cape Fear will also feature a special exhibit, Freedom, Sacrifice, Memory: A Civil War Sesquicentennial Photography Exhibit, featuring images of figures, artifacts and documents that bring to life the realities of our nation’s defining conflict.

There will be plenty of on-site parking available, for the convenience of the visitor. Please join us for a day of family fun, education and military history, as we present Military Through the Ages: A March Through History! For more information about this event, go to www.31daysofglory.com.

I wish I had paid more attention in history class. This is one of the fi rst thoughts I had when I started my position at the Fayetteville Area Convention and Visitors Bureau in November 2008. Growing up not too far from Fayetteville, I never realized that there was so much history right here in my very own back yard.

Like most people, I learn by doing and the Fayetteville Area Convention and Visitors Bureau has a great tool available to residents and visitors alike. The Cultural Heritage Driving Trails are a set of 14 thematic driving trails that tell the story of Fayetteville and Cumberland County based on the 14 themes. Some of the trail themes include African-American Heritage, Civil War, Gaelic Beginnings, Religious Freedom, Patriots, Past and Present and Paths, Plank Roads and Planes. Each site on these trails is linked together by the overall theme of the trail. We provide you with the phone number, address and hours of operation for each location. On most of the trails we provide turn-by-turn directions to help you get from point A to point B.

There are a few that we like to call a la carte options — no directions provided just options you can select depending on your preferences. The All-American Adventure trail provides a sample list of recreational opportunities available around Cumberland County. The Patri-Arts and Gardens Trailprovides an array of locations where you can experience art and culture in different mediums.

Since Fayetteville is a melting pot of cultures, we also offer an International Cuisine Trail that showcases the many different cuisines available in Fayetteville/Cumberland County. Everything from Indian to Greek to Caribbean to European to Colombian to Southern fare is available somewhere in Cumberland County. All restaurants included in this trail are locally-owned, non-chain restaurants. We also checked the health scores of each restaurant to make sure they were all above par establishments. We’ve also included two farmers markets for those who love fresh and local!

One of our newest, most unique trails is Trail Trek. Ever heard of geo-caching? In simplest terms, it’s a modern day scavenger hunt.

Here’s what you need: A hand-held GPS unit that allows you to enter in coordinates, a vehicle, a copy of Trail Trek and some small trinkets for the caches (pronounced cashes, we will get to what it is in a bit). You can get a copy of Trail Trek off our website; there is a printable version available to download. We provide you with a set of coordinates, you enter them into your hand-held GPS unit and drive to where the coordinates take you. You will have to get out of your car and walk with the unit in hand to get to all of our locations.

Once you get to where the coordinates take you, we have given you a clue that will help you fi nd the cache, a fancy way of saying the treasure box! Once you fi nd the cache, there is a log book as well as a small trinket. Basic geo-caching etiquette is if you take something out, you put something in. These trinkets are small items, figurines, matchbox cars, usually items from the dollar store work just fine. No food or money though. Then place the box where you found it so the next trail trekker can have as much fun as you did when looking for the cache!

Trail Trek has 10 sites that you can visit. You do not have to do them in order, nor do you have to do them all in one day. But we are sure that you will be pleasantly surprised at the locations that you do end up visiting and you will want to take some time to look around after finding each cache.Trail Trek is even on Facebook; find us and like us and you will get updates about new sites coming on board real soon!

We also have a feature on our website in which you design your own itinerary based on when you want to get out and explore or when you have friends and family visiting the Greater Fayetteville Area. CustomizeIt! is a web-based feature that takes you through three easy steps and results in a trail that has everything that you want to do, when you want to do it!

Step One asks basic questions: Where are you coming from? How many people are in your party? when will you be here? and What are you interested in seeing or doing while you are in Fayetteville?

Based on your answers in step one, step two allows you to select all of the options that you want to visit. You can even select the day you want to visit. Don’t worry, we provide you with hours of operation for each site!

Once you have selected all the places you want to visit, step three puts everything together, gives you a map and highlights where all the attractions are that you’ve selected. We even give you some restaurant and accommodation options based on the cuisine type and accommodation requirements that you selected in step one.

Step Three also gives you a look at the events calendar to see what local events are happening during your visit. You have the option to download audio files for the attractions that you have selected, either to a CD or MP3 player. You can save your itinerary if you need to come back and tweak it before your journey here, and you can email it to others that may be traveling with you.

Fayetteville and Cumberland County has a lot to see and you can learn a lot about our history by going out on one of our trails, or one that you create on your own through CustomizeIt!

You can find all the trails and CustomizeIt! on our website www.VisitFayettevilleNC.com. Our website features categories on every aspect of Fayetteville/Cumberland County and can help you learn more about the Greater Fayetteville area. Friends and family can also use it to plan a visit when they travel to our area. Check us out and find out why Fayetteville is a community of History, Heroes and a Hometown Feeling!

Photo: The Fayetteville Area Transportation Museum is one of many historic buildings on The Cultural Heritage Driving Trails.

Travel matters. It matters with job creation, productivity and regional economic expansion. Travel matters to our national economy, and it matters here in greater Fayetteville, N.C.

Nationwide, travel and tourism is one of America’s largest industries, employing more workers than both the insurance and auto industries. In 2010, it generated $1.8 trillion in economic output, and it delivered $118 billion in tax revenues. In fact, without travel and tourism’s contribution to the tax base, each household would be taxed an additional $1,000 per year.

Domestic visitors to and within North Carolina travel and tourism spend $15.6 billion per year, generating more than $1.4 billion in state and local tax revenues. This economic activity sustains 362,052 jobs statewide.

Of North Carolina’s 100 counties, Cumberland County generates the ninth highest economic impact from domestic tourism. In 2009, travel and tourism to Cumberland generated $379.59 million in expenditures and $30 million in state and local tax revenues. This represents a $93.27 tax savings to each Cumberland County resident.

Additionally Cumberland County’s tourism industry employs 4,130 people with a payroll of $77.30 million.

The Fayetteville Area Convention and Visitors Bureau (FACVB) works to maximize the economic impact from travel to Cumberland County. That fi gure is steadily rising. From 1999 to 2009, county tourism expenditures grew 57 percent — from $240.71 million in 1999 to the present figure of $379.59 million.

The bureau’s mission to position Cumberland County as a destination for conventions, tournaments and individual travel means that we market the community as a place to visit, whether for business or leisure.

The FACVB is funded solely through occupancy taxes, collected from overnight visitors at Cumberland County hotels and administered by the Tourism Development Authority (TDA). This means that no local taxpayer money is used for the promotion of travel and tourism. (The Arts Council of Fayetteville/Cumberland County and The Crown Center receive a portion of occupancy tax collections.)

Tourists also increase the tax base. The 160,000 overnight hotel visitors per month generate city and county sales tax from their hotel stay, restaurant visits, shopping and from any other activities in which they participate during their visit to Cumberland County.

Marketing the community

You might wonder how the FACVB markets the community to visitors. Each year we produce a detailed program of work that outlines the program for the coming year. A few of the projects/tactics on the plan typically include

• Attending trade shows to secure potential meeting-planner business

• E-blasts to past and potential visitors with specific interests

• Web development with an emphasis on search engine optimization

• Public Relations plan for securing positive publicity on Cumberland County as a travel destination

• Development of a destination guide for all market segments

• Attending trade shows to secure group tour business

• Product development (packaging and selling the community’s products)

• Targeted print and web advertisements

All of our marketing decisions are research-based allowing us to pinpoint needs or wants of visitors. Research shows some successes. According to a conversion study completed last spring, for each $1 the FACVB spends on marketing, visitors spend $4.53 in Cumberland County. This represents a 400 percent return on investment. Other key findings:

• The Fayetteville Area Destination Guide is a key decision-making tool. The Fayetteville Area Destination Guide is the most used source of information for trip planning.

• Average spending per person per day is estimated at $150, making each visitor inquiry worth $1,404. • The majority of converted visitors are 35-54 in age; 43 percent had children under 18 in the group in an average party size of 2.6; and 34 percent have incomes of $75,000 or more.

• The three most frequent primary purposes for visiting were relocation (26 percent), military (21 percent) and family vacations (21 percent).

• Relaxing, dining out and visiting historic and military sites and museums are the primary activities of our visitors.

• Half of visitors are staying in hotels and motels; and almost all visitors plan to return. The average length of stay is between 3.6 and 4.7 nights.

• Ease of access by car and historic sites are top-rated aspects of the city by visitors

The FACVB continues to maximize the impact of travel and tourism on our economy by providing programs and services for visitors to Cumberland County. We always keep an eye on the visitor — and work to fulfi ll their needs.

BECAUSE THE VISITOR

Because the visitor has a need, we have a job to do.

Because the visitor has a choice, we must be the better choice.

Because the visitor has sensibilities… we must be considerate.

Because the visitor has an urgency, we must be quick.

Because the visitor has high expectations, we must excel.

Because the Visitor has infl uence, we have the hope of more Visitors.

Because of the visitor, we exist.

         - Karl Yena, Yena & Associates

It’s not over yet! The tornadoes — those twisting serpents of destruction that have left those of us with personal experience our own version of post-traumatic stress syndrome. After a forest fire on the farm last month and a tornado through the neighborhood two weeks ago I was joking that if I got anywhere near water, start evacuating. But after calling a friend with a daughter at the University of Alabama on Wednesday night and watching the skies over the farm while the weather channel was squawking tornado warnings, I came back to Fayetteville last Thursday and had a total “meltdown”.

Something suddenly snapped as stress chemicals poured into my bloodstream that, as the doctor later explained, mimicked a small stroke —speech impairment, disorientation, light headedness — a roller-coaster ride of fluctuating blood pressure and constricting veins. It was a physical experience that gave me some insight to “survivor wisdom.”

The first major realization is that no matter how early the warning and how quickly we move to a “safe place” some of these storms are not survivable. Whether the cause for climate change is global warming, solar flares or the position of our solar system as it rotates through the universe it is all speculation.

Will an extremely hot summer speed up the melting of the northern permafrost and cause a huge release of methane into the atmosphere? Will the warmer than usual waters result in a more benign hurricane season? Is it too late to mitigate any of the human impact on the vulnerable environment (i.e. oil spills, radiation leaks, etc.)? The hard truth is that no matter what the forecast trends, the human body is too fragile to withstand raging natural forces.

But there is a second lesson from survivorship. For those of us that were literally trapped in our neighborhoods after the tornado — trees and debris making streets inaccessible, the subdivisions rendered incommunicado and no way to get to the outside world it, was the small basics that became tools of sustainability for a few days:

• A landline phone on which we could call out even if we could not receive calls coming in.

• Battery-operated radios

• Car gas tanks filled earlier in the day that could provide charges for cell phones and radios.

• Water bottles filled earlier in the day and frozen for ice and insulation.

Rescue teams and emergency services were coming but Saturday night there was no way to talk with them. We had no idea there had been a press conference, where to go or even the track of the tornado until my insurance agent called my cell very late that night to give me reports off her laptop and an offer to try to get in, if needed, to get me out.

On Sunday, families who elected not to evacuate scrambled for information. You all know the heartening stories of volunteers and long hours by emergency services as they set up staging areas and searched for the injured. A few that will always come to mind for me are:

• Jim Cook of WFNC broadcasting Sunday afternoon to help with emergency information and then working after 10 p.m. to be ready to go on the air Monday at 6 a.m. with more updates.

• Robert Jenkins of Home Depot sending generators to the emergency areas to charge cell phone and laptops — and garbage bags.

• The mayor’s administrative assistant, Brenda, staying on the line to be sure we reached the right department offi cial to handle requests from inside the “zone.”

• City inspections offi cer Doug Naylor, who immediately moved city permit stations to the “check points,” and sped up procedures for contractors rushing to answer calls for assistance.

• The Fayetteville Observer being delivered to aide stations with news and phone numbers.

• Military personnel, church groups, Samaritan’s Purse armed with tarps and chainsaws to help elderly and young families remove the trees from the houses — and piling debris neatly at the curb.

It was an “in your face” lesson on how we assume our modern technology “links” us and how flexible we must be when there is no TV news, no radio programs to broadcast local programming and no way to charge cell phones or get calls through in emergency situations.

It was people walking down the streets carrying ice, gas cans and “what have you heard?” bulletins that brought in the news.

As the curfews began to be lifted, the green permits left in the house and the damage diminish (at least visibly) — as life begins to resume some of its normal rhythm that I have one last survivor lesson — especially as I acknowledge my own vulnerability:

In times of danger and insecurity, your greatest safety is with your neighbors — the family or people next door. Get to know them. Speak to them. Care for them. They are the source of strength that as you step outside into a new and devastated landscape come up to give you a hug of reassurance.

Photo: Soldiers from the U.S. Army John F. Kennedy Special Warfare Center and School volunteered their time in a Fayetteville community to help clean up in the aftermath of the tornado. These soldiers were just a few of the many people in the community and around the state that reach out to help. U.S. Army Photo by SSG Russell Klika.

Join the Airborne & Special Operations Museum Foundation for a special Movie in the Camp featuring the Dean Martin, Jerry Lewis classic Jumping Jacks on Saturday, May 21, beginning at 6 p.m. in the museum’s Refl ection Garden.

When the doors open at 6 p.m., movie goers will walk into a camp-like atmosphere with a 16 x 9 foot infl atable screen. Refreshments, including soft drinks, candy bars and popcorn, will also be available for a nominal cost. Music and entertainment will be provided before the movie begins at 8:30 p.m.

According to Paul Galloway, executive director of the Airborne & Special Operations Museum Foundation, this will be a special event for the entire family.

“What a wonderful way for a family to spend an evening together watching a fantastic movie under the stars at the museum,” said Galloway.

“This is a great way to support the museum,” he continued. “Community support of museum events has always been outstanding and last year’s Movie in the Camp was no exception.

”Released in 1952, the Dean Martin/Jerry Lewis movie centers around nightclub entertainers Hap Smith and his partner Chick Allen, who had recently joined the army. Lewis plays a clownish parody of a soldier. Meanwhile, Chick is organizing a soldier show at Fort Benning, Ga., and finds he needs his old partner’s help. To get onto the base, Hap impersonates a hapless real soldier, Dogface Dolan; but circumstances force them to prolong the masquerade, creating an increasingly tangled Army-sized snafu.

Before the movie begins a special musical presentation will be performed by The Andrews Sisters Tribute Show. The Andrew Sisters Tribute Show features brilliant choreography and 3-part harmony by professional and beautiful singers with angelic voices complete with full tap dancing and hilarious comedy and acting.

“You’ll fall in love with this awesome show,” said Galloway.Attendees are encouraged to bring blankets. Cost is $10 for adults and $5 for children. Tickets are now on sale in the museum gift shop or may be purchased at the door the day of the show. Call 643-2778 for more information.

Movie in the Camp is one of the many 31 Days of Glory events taking place throughout May. This community-wide salute honors those who serve and have served in our armed forces, as well as the military families that are so important to our community. For more information about this or other 31 Days of Glory events, go to www.31daysalute.com.

Located in downtown Fayetteville, the Airborne & Special Operations Museum is part of the U.S. Army Museum System and tells the story of Army airborne and special-operations units from 1940 to the present. Museum hours are 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. Tuesday through Saturday, noon – 5 p.m. Sunday. Closed Monday; open Federal holiday Mondays. For more information, call 910.643.2774 or visit the website at www.asomf.or

“I’m not sure what I want to be when I grow up.”

This is a statement often presented to me not only from students in high school, but also individuals who have been working for a while, as well as students who are currently enrolled in college but are considering chang-ing career fields. There was a time when people would decide upon a ca-reer field and maintain that same career for 20-plus years until retirement. Today, however, people will change career fields five to six times during a lifetime.

For many individuals, career awareness is a challenging and difficult activity to engage in. It can often feel overwhelming, time-consuming, and intimidating. Career awareness is an individual process, and individuals should recognize that each person starts at different places when exploring career interests. One should begin the process early to help focus energy towards making better career choices, and this effort will lead to realistic options for success.

Time spent exploring one’s interest, values and abilities, as well as gain-ing more insight into what makes each person “unique” is considered to be a key component to career decision-making.

One of the main functions of the Career Center at FTCC is to help aid individuals in solving some of the crucial problems likely to be faced as they turn their career plans into a reality. We can offer and administer a variety of career interest inventories, which help to link personality types and abili-ties with careers. These assessments provide valuable background informa-tion for career planning

.Once the inventories are completed, the individual can sit and talk with a professionally trained counselor and work jointly in solving prob-lems associated with career choices, daily living, and educational planning. The goal is to pull all of the relevant information together and formulate a plan of action!

The services within the FTCC Career Center are free and open to the public. You can contact us at www.faytechcc/counseling/CareerCenter.asp or 910-678-8205 or 910-678-8422 for more assistance and information.

FTCC Career Center910-678-8205 or 910-678-8422

The joy of motherhood is cherished. Mothers and fathers are delighted to discover that in nine months a new addition will be added to their family. They quickly begin purchasing tiny baby onesies, and bibs with cute sayings. The joy of planning the baby shower is never-ending. They are eager to invite their friends and family in to share their new bundle of joy. Nine months finally pass, and par-ents anxiously wait to see the perfect child God has blessed them. However, some parents deliver babies with medical condition they never dreamed their child would have. Ten percent of the 5,000 babies delivered in Cumberland County are born with a medical condition. These babies need the best care — fast.

For 16 years, Cape Fear Valley Health Foundation’s umbrella organization Friends of Children, has held its annual Cape Fear Valley Health Foundation’s Friends of Children Golf Classic. The tournament is supported by local businesses and community spon-sorships. The tournament has raised more than $1 million for children’s services at Cape Fear Valley. This year’s golf tournament will take place on May 12 at Cypress Lakes Golf Course.

Co-Chairmen, Tom Costello and Duane DeGaetano, stated that as “fathers we understand how stressful and emotionally draining it can be to care for a sick child.” They feel that they “are fortunate to be able to have the time and resourc-es to care for our families when they are sick.” Caring for families with sick chil-dren is truly their creed. Tournament proceeds have provided a state-of-the-art Giraffe Platform Bed for the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. This bed has a warm-ing incubator, rotating mattress and built-in scale in one bed, helping eliminate stress of premature babies. Laurin Cooper, father of twin boys who have used the bed said “their access to the Giraffe beds surely saved their lives and increased their chance at normal lives.” Friends of Children have also provided surgi-cal instruments designed for Pediatric Orthopedics; a Shaken Baby Syndrome prevention program; and a SimBaby teaching manikin, which is used to teach emergency medical staff life-saving techniques.

The goal for this year’s tournament is to raise $100,000. These proceeds will be used “in the most crucial areas of children’s services.” By supporting the tournament, you will assist in the completion of the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU) renova-tions. Once the renovations are complete, the center will have eight private PICU rooms, a central moni-toring system, and a comfortable family waiting and play room.

Friends of Children started in 1991, and since its inception, the organization has helped at least 10 percent of the 5,000 babies born locally each year. The golf tournament was spear-headed by a man with a passion to serve: the late L.B.Floyd.

Funds raised come from sponsorships. Presenting sponsors for this year’s tournament are Rick Hendrick Toyota and CSI Construction Systems, Inc. However, sponsorships for community residents are available. Presenting, Platinum, Gold, and Patron sponsorships are available. To learn more about how to become a sponsor, contact Sabrina Brooks at (910) 615-1449.

Support the 16th Annual Friends of Children Golf Classic on May 12 at Cypress Lakes Golf Course.

The Cape Fear River is known for many things like its wild beauty and the size of its catfi sh. But on Saturday, May 7 it will be known for its ducks as a flotilla of ducks float down the river in the highly anticipated Duck Derby.

The ducks, of the yellow, plastic bathtub variety, each represent a donation to a local Fayetteville charity. Organizers of the Duck Derby have been out over the past several months selling these ducks to people in the community, with an eye on race day.

Since February, more than 9,492ducks have been sold according to Katie Crenshaw, one of the organizers of the event.

“My dream is 15,000,” said Crenshaw. “I know that sounds unbelievable, but they say the last two weeks are your biggest sales. So people still have time to adopt a duck and participate in the derby.”

Ducks will be sold all the way up to race date, so if you haven’t bought your duck yet, it’s still not too late. You can adopt a duck for $5, with all proceeds going to Fayetteville’s own fl ock, which is comprised of local non-profits that will receive a portion of the proceeds. Each non-profit participating is listed on the Duck Derby website, as well as corporate teams that will raise money for their favorite non-profit.

“Every non-profit will get $1 for each of their non-profit sales, plus the corporate teams pick a non-profi t, and they will get a $1 for every non-profit. The rest goes to Fayetteville Urban Ministries. We will also donate $500 to the highest team’s non-profit,” said Crenshaw.

Saturday’s event is designed to bring the community together for a day full of fun and celebration aimed at “building a better community.”

Events kick-off at Campbellton Landing at 1 p.m. on Saturday. The event has something to offer the entire family. For the young ones in your own flock, The Kid’s Zone is sure to keep children entertained. The zone features Magic by David, Bounce Houses, Rattler Jake, a train, arts and crafts and visits by many local mascots. There will also be wagon rides on the river.

“We have great activities for the children,” said Crenshaw. “Our opening ceremony will feature all of the non-profi ts and they will cut the ribbon together.”

For those who love music, don’t worry you’re covered, too. Live music will be ongoing throughout the day, featuring performances by Suckerpunch, Refl ections II Band, Summerfi eld, Taylor Bridges, the Kidsville! Kids and the Falcon Children’s Home Choir.

If you would like to take a closer look at the Cape Fear River, boat rides by Cape Fear River Boat Rides will also be available.

Of course, it wouldn’t be much of a festival if there wasn’t food, so rest assured a number of food vendors will be on hand. And, if you get thirsty, a number of wineries and the Budweiser Girls will be around to offer you something to drink.

The highlight of the event will be the release of the ducks into the Cape Fear River around mid-afternoon. “The first honorary duck in the water will be dressed like a soldier to honor all of their sacrifi ces,” said Crenshaw.

Once released, the ducks will float to the finish line. The top five ducks will bring home prizes to their adopted family. The grand prize is a 2011 Toyota Camry provided by Rick Hendrick Toyota. Second prize is a Las Vegas Getaway; third prize is a Myrtle Beach escape; fourth prize is a Cape Fear River Cruise; and fi fth prize is a pair of Community Concerts season tickets.

Admission to the event is free For more information about how you can participate in the Duck Derby, visit the website at www. fayettevilleduckderby.com

The World Upside Down

Several years ago, a friend of mine confided that she was the breadwinner in her family, that while her husband has a professional career as well, she is the one who really brings home the bacon.

This was a revelation to me, because at that time, I simply had no idea what was unfolding not only among people I know but throughout our community and our nation.

Women, it seems, are indeed earning more money than the men in their lives, making their jobs the most important ones in the family and rearranging the family landscape regarding who does the chores and who minds the children. So I was not entirely surprised by last month’s news on this score in demographics released by the U.S. Census Bureau. For the fi rst time in American history, more women are earning advanced college degrees than our male counterparts. This appears to be an extension of the trend which began in the 1980s with more women enrolled in college than men and then more women earning diplomas than men.

News reports of these Census numbers use words like “redefining,” and it is clear to me that “redefi nition” has been underway for some time and is likely accelerating. If change is evolutionary, then stop for a moment, take a deep breath, and think how much has changed in our gender roles in a relatively short period of time.

There are women alive in our nation today, those born before 1920, who arrived into a world that did not allow them to vote. It was apparently assumed at that time that women were not capable of making our own political choices and therefore should not be allowed to have a ballot. Now remember that in the last Presidential-election cycle, an American woman, Hillary Clinton, was considered a viable Presidential candidate and now holds one of the most important jobs in the world.

That, my friends, is true redefi nition.

I was disconcerted, but hardly shocked by a recent Newsweek cover story entitled the “Beached White Male,” complete with a photograph of a man in a business suit and brief case with a big black X covering his body. The article points out that the Great Recession has hit middle-aged white men in the workforce especially hard and speculates whether or not that demographic group will survive the ongoing downturn in our economy. It also notes that while these men are understandably dispirited by their situations, they are reluctant to embrace technological advances now common in the workplace or evolving gender roles within their own households. The word “denial” is used in that story. Census fi gures indicate younger men may be a bit more adaptable.

As women’s educational levels advance and gender discrimination in the workplace falls away, a more diverse range of jobs are opening up and women are tackling them. In some instances, the men in these women’s lives are deciding to stay home for all sorts of reasons. The Census Bureau tells us that there are nearly 2 million stay-at-home dads in our country today, almost 1 in 15 fathers who are the primary caregivers for their children. These numbers include only non-employed fathers who have chosen this role, not those who work from home or who continue to look for work, meaning that there are likely many more. Some researchers say that if there is a stay-at-home parent in the family, 1 out of 5 will be the dad.

Here again, these are just numbers, and we are free to interpret them as we choose. Researchers, though, do see some trends in them.

Many contend that women’s higher educational attainments are getting us out of the house and into the workplace in higher numbers while men’s lower educational levels and concentration in male-dominated industries like construction and manufacturing hard hit by the Great Recession, or as some are now calling it the “man-cession,” are indeed translating into fewer stay-at-home moms and more stay-at-home dads. Today’s stay-at-home mom is more likely to be a younger, foreign-born Hispanic without a college degree than a professional woman who has made a conscious choice to stay home with her children.

I have no idea what all this change means for our country over time, but I do know it is true because I see it all around me.

I do wonder, though, what my grandmother who had one year of college and to my knowledge never once worked outside her home would think of the way her grandchildren and great grandchildren live now. I am certain that my grandfather, a dignifi ed Southern breadwinner and a thoroughly traditional fellow, would be absolutely astounded.

Recently, I thought about what it might be like to trade places with my son for a day. Austin is 16-years-old and has what is often referred to as High Functioning Autism. This means that, while he still has autism, he is intelligent, can function in a regular classroom (with some help), and can take care of himself for the most part. As a parent, however, it doesn’t matter how high functioning your child with autism is — there is still a great deal of heartache and concern involved. And the initial diagnosis is still traumatic.

My first thought was that it would be a great learning experience to trade places with my son for a day. I would understand him better and see the world through his eyes. I would be able to see and feel what autism really is, thinking his thoughts and experiencing his feelings. Since I already have the insight of what it is like to not have autism, trading places with Austin would help me see what’s different.

From a purely mechanical standpoint, I thought it would be amazing to hold huge numbers of facts in my brain, something that is not normally my strength, and be able to regurgitate them whenever necessary. I might be able to remember and ponder the 435 animals that he has in his imaginary zoo. I would be able to remember what groceries I need, an impossible task for me without a list. Like Austin, I would be able to recall with relative ease things like all the court cases and amendments to the constitution or remember word-for-word summaries from the back of books.

Living with autism for a day might help me understand Austin’s thought process in social situations. Perhaps it would help me understand why Austin’s greetings to other people seem so timid and strained? I would be able to understand better what it’s like to be in a room full of people and not really be interested in what is going on around me. I thought that it would help me be a better mom and help me help others to see the great young man that I know and love.

Having autism myself might help me make environmental adjustments that would relieve the discomfort of noises that Austin perceives as loud enough to cover his ears. Maybe I could help decrease sibling rivalry if I could understand why he absolutely cannot ignore his younger sister’s taunts and joking. Even though I know that my son feels loved, experiencing autism might allow me to see more clearly the way in which Austin loves others and perceives other people’s expressions of love toward him.

But, after more consideration, thinking about trading places with my son for a day made me feel sad. I thought, what if I find out that the world is a very critical and chaotic place when you have autism? What if just a regular day is full of distracting and annoying noises that I couldn’t screen out? What if looking someone in the eyes and smiling at them became a diffi cult task? What if I found myself correcting people because their inaccuracies made me just plain crazy? What if I discovered that the only place that I felt safe and secure was being in my bedroom by myself?

What if I found out that I wouldn’t understand half of what people say since people rarely say what they mean and rarely mean what they say? What if I learned that solitary isolation was the consolation prize when communication with other people was too difficult and fraught with too many land mines? What if I found out that I was a square peg trying to fi t into a round hole, or that people were really not very compassionate?

Change is difficult for people with autism. Recently, I have been talking with Austin more about the future and how to make your way in the world. It made me sad to think that maybe my foray into these new topics caused him great angst. It is overwhelming for a normal teenager to think about leaving home or going to college. What would it be like to entertain these thoughts, knowing that the world does not accommodate me very well? It makes me sad to think that if I had autism the world would always be trying to turn my “squareness” into “roundness.” I would always be “wrong,” wouldn’t I? I would always be different, wouldn’t I?

I would not want to relive my own high school days, much less those of an autistic 16-year-old young man. Maybe trading places with my son would help; maybe it wouldn’t. Some people who have autism say that they like the way they are and wouldn’t want to be “normal.” Nevertheless, if it would be helpful, I would trade places with my son for a day in a heartbeat. In fact, like most parents, I would trade my life if I could.

For more information on autism, contact:The Autism Society of Cumberland County at (910) 826-3004/3005, via email at autismcc@ccpfc.org or online at www. autismcc.org.

From its earliest days, Fayetteville has played a part in the significant events that have shaped the state and even the country. From the Liberty Point Resolve of 1775 that pledged local support for the Revolutionary War to the wars in the middle east that are shaping our world today.

As part of the 31 Day Salute honoring the military, the Fayetteville Area Transportation and Local History Museum is hosting Cumberland County Goes to War. The exhibit celebrates the sesquicentennial (150th anniversary) of the American Civil War.

“This being a local history museum, we are focusing on what was going on in Fayetteville and Cumberland County during the Civil War,” said Fayetteville Historic Properties Manager Bruce Dawes. “It is kind of a compartmentalized exhibit. We’ve got a section on the arsenal, and then we talk about the home front war efforts. A lot of that has to do with the contributions of the ladies and children and the elderly people that were serving on the home front. It was certainly a war where sacrifices were felt at all levels, not just the soldiers in the field, but on the home front, too. They did a lot of sacrifice and volunteer work.”

Visitors to the exhibit may not know that Fayetteville had three hospitals in operation during the Civil War. There was one on Hay Street, one at the arsenal and another close to the Cape Fear River that helped to take care of wounded soldiers coming from places like Fort Fisher.

“We will have a section on Fayetteville as it relates to being an inland port on the Cape Fear River and our connection with Wilmington and the whole blockade running thing,” said Dawes. “We talk about goods coming in from Europe through the blockades and things coming up the Cape Fear River. We talk about the Cape Fear River and Fayetteville and what was going on with the river.”

From there visitors follow the action to the battle of Monroe’s Crossroads which was fought on land that is now Fort Bragg, but was part of Cumberland County. This battle was as fought towards the end of the war March 10, 1865, and it only gets more exciting from there.

“We profile Monroe’s Crossroad, and the day after that was the occupation of Fayetteville by General Sherman,” said Dawes. During Sherman’s stay in town, the Cape Fear River bridge was burned and Sherman’s army had to build pontoons to get across. The Confederate army proceeded north and the union army pursued and went north, too.

On the Harnett/Cumberland line, the battle of Averasboro commenced on March 15 of 1865, and there were Fayetteville natives in the mix who will be represented in this part of the exhibit, too.

“Then, just to bring the war to a complete close, because we have Fayettevillians who fought in the largest battle ever fought in North Carolina, and the last major engagement of the war in North Carolina that is the battle of Bentonville, which will also be featured,” said Dawes. “We also have a random sampling of personalities — people from Fayetteville/Cumberland County who served in the war. We have pictures of these local veterans and personalities. Of course most of them fought for the south but there were a few who fought for the Union.”

One of these personalities includes an African-American who went to Maryland and helped to raise a couple of Union regiments. Every aspect of the exhibit is closely related to what was going on in Fayetteville Cumberland County at the time Dawes said. The exhibit runs through May 31 at the Fayetteville Area Transportation Museum, which is open Tuesday through Saturday from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.

The exhibit is free and open to the public. Visit www.fcpr.us/transportation_museum.aspx or call 433-1458 to find out more.

Photo: The Fayetteville Transportation Museum is hosting Cumberland County Goes to War through May 31.

Source Code  (Rated PG-13)  Five Stars

Source Code(93 minutes) is the best Philip K. Dick novel that Philip K. Dick never wrote. It bears a resemblance to several other “hard” science fiction films, even if the science is a little fuzzy. Get out your blender, toss in Total Recall, Groundhog Day, The Matrix, then sprinkle with a topping of misdirection. Director Duncan Jones where have you been all my life? Hey! He directed Moon! That was also good.

The film starts off with disorientation. Tricksy camera angles distort a suspiciously clean city … supposedly Chicago, but very, very, shiny and new. All kinds of red herrings are set before the audience, and some are even relevant. Captain Colter Stevens (Jake Gyllenhaal) finds himself in the middle of a, ahem, quantum leap. It is unclear if he is perhaps a little nuts or possibly experiencing a psychotic break during the eight minutes immediately preceding him getting hit in the face by a huge explosion.

Then it turns out that he was not actually hit in the face by a huge explosion … it was teacher Sean Fentress, whose body he is borrowing, who was actually melted by the incoming fireball. He figures this out only after a positively exhausting interview/sort-of-debriefing with Captain Colleen Goodwin (Vera Farmiga, who reminds me more of a Cate Blanchett/Tilda Swinton hybrid in every film she does). He irritatingly refuses to put the lives of other people ahead of his own confusion, repeatedly demanding answers that he is clearly not going to get.

Finally, Captain Goodwin gets it through his thick skull that he is part of a special program combining quantum whoosit with whatchyamacallit parabolic science and the movie Memento. But enough physics! Time to return to the Source Code, where Captain Colter has eight minutes to get as much information as possible about a train bombing so the army guys (and Captain Goodwin) can prevent an even bigger bombing. Not that he can change anything, so don’t even worry about that. Even if you subscribe to the many worlds theory, Dr. Rutledge points out that Colter would not be changing reality prime (that’s kind of a Slidersreference, but mostly I made it up), he would just be creating a totally new reality.

He is sent back? (in? through? to?) and manages to avoid sounding crazypants this time. He has a slightly different conversation with Christine (Michelle Monaghan) the woman sitting across from him than he did during the opening credits, and he becomes convinced that the things he does on the train actually create change in the “real” world. Thinking about it now makes my head hurt, but at the time it made total sense.

He starts to wonder what is going on with his reality as the metal capsule he is strapped into seems to be deteriorating in between trips. Jerky Dr. Rutledge (Jeffrey Wright, or “Basquiat” to the hardcore art nerds) points out that there a larger issues at stake, and every second they spend pandering to Colter’s insecurity about the nature of reality is one less second they are trying to prevent the annihilation of Chicago.

With each trip, he gathers marginally more intelligence, but also becomes more certain of two things. First, he is not being told the whole truth about his status. Second, he can save the otherwise doomed people on the train. He begins to gather intel about himself as well as about the pending explosion.

Colter does eventually get answers, and so does the audience. Half the fun is speculating about where he actually is, and if any of his desperate attempts to communicate with reality prime are successful. Overall, a superb addition to the time loop genre deserving of a much larger audience than it is getting.

On April 13, Methodist University hosted the Cumberland County Special Olympics. Not only was is a great day for the athletes, it was a heartwarming day for their families and the spectators too.

“We had close to 200 athletes, maybe a little more. It was a lot of fun. We even had the E.E. Smith High School band come out and join us for the opening ceremony,” said Brad Melvin, assistant recreational center supervisor for Fayetteville/Cumberland County Parks and Rec. He added that the contestants had a lot of fun because they not only get a chance to come out and compete, but everybody goes away with something. They always get a medal or a ribbon.

“My favorite thing as the volunteer coordinator is that I get a chance to work with the volunteers. The way the volunteers interact with the contestants is great,” said Melvin.

“It gives the kids something to look forward to, and I think it means even more to the volunteers than it does the kids. The kids put a smile on everyone’s face, the way they work so hard and compete.”

Events like this are important to the athletes and the community alike. Not only does it give the community a chance to cheer the olympians on and to watch them succeed, it rewards the hard work and training that the athletes have put into their event.

On May 7, Gifts Galore and S.O. Much More Shopping Expo is set to take place at the Dorothy Gilmore Therapeutic Recreation Center. The event runs from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. and admission is free.

Started 2009 to raise funds in support of Cumberland County’s Special Olympics, the mission of Gifts Galore is “to provide all citizens with intellectual disabilities the opportunity to become useful, productive citizens who are respected in our area.”

The shopping spree is held twice a year, the first Saturday in May and the first Saturday in Dec. Home-based businesses and artisans show up and sell a variety of great products and the money received from the vendor booth rentals all goes right back into the Special Olympics. They’ve got everything from hand bags and home decor items to skin care and scrap-booking products.

The money raised will be used to for the special olympics program to put on and attend different events throughout the county and to travel to the state level events.

The state level games will be held on June 3-5 in the Raleigh/Cary area, and Cumberland County will be well represented. “We have, including our coaches and athletes, about 100 people or so,” said Melvin.

With more than 300 athletes across Cumberland County the Special Olympics has a lot of work to do every year. The fact that the organization operates solely on donations, can make it tough to meet their goals sometimes, that is why events like this are so important to the programs. Donations are accepted year round. For more info or to make a donation call the Cumberland County Special Olympics at 433-1000.

Two and half years ago, I found myself driving down I-95, having packed up everything I owned and moving to a community that I knew little about. Like many people I know, my career had brought me to Fayetteville. For the first few months, I focused on my job, got to know my co-workers, and was involved with a few community events here and there.

After the excitement of a new town had worn off, I sat back and realized that I knew very little about the community where I lived and the people who lived here. The common themes ran through my head: “there is no one like me here,” “this is a small town, and unless you were born here, you are an outsider”, and of course, “there is nothing to do here.”

After some coaxing from someone I had met at one of the “here-and-there” community events, I finally decided to look into the Fayetteville Young Professionals. I found a group of young men and women, who, just like me, were eager to meet new people, get involved in our community, and make a difference.

“There was no one like me” because I chose not to meet them. The only reason I felt like an outsider was because I allowed myself to be one. And the only reason there was nothing to do was that I chose not to do anything.

My advice to anyone that finds themselves in the same situation I did is to visit www.fayyp.org and come to the next event that interests you. Any Wednesday morning, join us for breakfast at Haymont Grill. We are there from 6.45-8.30. If you are not a morning person (I am not but still manage to make it every once in a while), check the calendar for the monthly Lunch and Learn series where we have a guest join us to discuss their field of expertise. In the upcoming months, our topics will include personal nutrition and the Fort Bragg expansion. And for all those people who have wanted to learn to play golf but are too embarrassed to hack away in front of your friends who have been playing for years, be on the lookout for Summer Golf Lessons sponsored by FYP.

Finally, if you have ideas of your own for events or activities that are currently not on the calendar, join either the Professional Development Committee (email profdev@fayyp.org) or the Social Committee (email social@fayyp.org). We are always looking for new ideas and people who are willing to act on them.

Do not let others control your happiness. If you are willing, you can make a difference and make Fayetteville a better place to live, work and play.

To become a member of FYP, please visit: www.fayyp.org. For questions, please email chair@fayyp.org.

PHOTO: FYP Lunch and Learn with Mayor Tony Chavonne, and City Council members Bobby Hurst and Valencia Applewhite.

Thursday, April 28

History of Scottish Presbyterians in the Cape Fear

Providence Presbyterian Church, 2801 Ramsey St., 7 p.m. Information, linrohm@yahoo.com.

Friday, April 29 - May 15

I Love You. You’re Perfect. Now Change. Cape Fear Regional Theatre - More information, visit www.cfrt.org

Friday, April 29

Fayetteville-Cumberland Crimestoppers Annual Barbecue - 11 a.m. – 7 p.m. Highland Shopping Center Parking Lot (in front of Harris Teeter) $6 per plate

A Garden Party to Benefit the Boys and Girls Clubs of Cumberland County 3-7 p.m. Cross Creek Park Tickets are $50 per person. Information: Jenny@justjennyevents.com

Skate Park Appreciation Event & Lock-In Double Decker Skate Park, 500 Blount St. For more information, e-mail doubledeckerskatepark@ gmail.com or call 483-3425.

Bloom & Boom Kickoff Party 7-10 p.m. Featuring Jo Dee Messina and closing out the night with Fireworks. Midway rides open at 5 p.m.

Saturday, April 30

Hogs and Rags Annual Spring Rally 8 a.m. Cape Fear Harley Davidson $50 per entry, $30 per additional passenger

Dogwood Youth Softball Explosion TournamentTimes vary; presented by Fayetteville-Cumberland County Parks and Recreation Department. Information: email rgroves@ci.fay.nc.us or call 433-1398

YMCA Dogwood Run: Run For Your Hero Run begins at 7:30 a.m. on Hull Road. For information, email audraw.ymcanc@gmail. com or call 323-0800.

Dogwood Street Festival12-10 p.m. Featuring arts and crafts vendors, live entertainment, the Partnership’s KidStuff, midway rides and much more!

Revolution Skate2 to 8 p.m. Skate inspired art exhibit, skate expo and DJ. Admission is free. Sponsored by Fayetteville STUN Art, Feral Art Collective and Fayetteville Art Guild. Information: call 828-406-4875 or email mudpieceramics@gmail.com.

Spring Fashion Expo 2-5 p.m., Crown Expo Center Tickets are $10 per person Features fashion show, beauty seminars, modeling workshops and guest speakers. Information, email organizer@indulgefashionnetwork. com.

Ms. Senior Cumberland County Beauty Pageant 2 to 5 p.m. Haymount United Methodist Church Tickets are $5 Information: email cvansickle@ccccoa.org.

Fayetteville Symphony Orchestra Grand Finale 7:30 p.m. Reeves Auditorium, Methodist University Tickets are $25 for adults, $20 for seniors and military; $8 for students with ID; children under the age of 12 admitted free.

Jazz On the Top of the Town 8:30 p.m., 2510 Legion Rd. Featuring jazz music by Art Sherrod Jr. Tickets are $30 per person. Information: email sharontaylor@nc.rr.com.

EverclearMain Stage at Festival Park 9 p.m.

Sunday, April 26

Dogwood Street Festival12-10 p.m. Featuring arts and crafts vendors, live entertainment, the Partnershi

Children are one of our community’s greatest assets. But each day, many children go home alone, with no one to make them a snack or help them with their homework. For some of these children, a safe haven is the Boys & Girls Club of Cumberland County.

Several years ago that safe haven was threatened when the club lost funding by the United Way. A reorganization of the club, its staff and board has the club back in the right direction and the support of the community is starting to flow.

Last year, to help encourage people to support the club, a group of civic-minded individuals got together and planned the community’s first Dogwood Festival Garden Party. The event was a hit, and this year it is back and better than ever.

The Garden Party will take place on Friday, April 29 from 3-5 p.m. in Cross Creek Park on Green St.

“It’s a great reason to get off work a little early and kick-off the Dogwood Festival in style,” said Jenny Beaver, one of the organizers of the event.

Beaver said that in true garden party style, attendees are encouraged to break out their sundresses and hats and men can pull out their seer sucker suits for the event.

The event will feature the band Groovetown, heavy hors d’oeuvres and beer and wine.

Tickets to the event are $50 per person and can be purchased online athttp://gardenparty.eventsbot.com. While you are out having fun, remember that all proceeds benefi t the club, which in turn, benefi ts our community.

The Boys & Girls Club of Cumberland County, which was established in 1968, consists of four units: the Cumberland Road Unit, 3475 Cumberland Rd., the Rochester Unit, 1018 Rochester Dr., the J.S. Spivey Unit, 500 Fisher Rd., and the Spring Lake Unit, 245 Ruth Street.

The club’s mission is to inspire all youth, especially those who need us the most to become productive, responsible and caring citizens.

The organization empowers youth with a Youth Development Strategy which gives them a sense of belonging; sense of usefulness; sense of infl uence; and sense of competence.

Programs offered by the club can be broken down into five core areas: education and career development, health and life skills, character and leadership development, sports, fitness and recreation and the arts.

Locally, the club offers several national programs including:

SMART Moves - To help young people resist the use of alcohol, tobacco and other drugs and postpone sexual activity

SMART Girls - To help girls develop and adopt a healthy attitude and lifestyle, as well as acquire and maintain a positive self-concept, sound decisionmaking skills and mentor relationships

Street SMART - Enables participants to counteract the negative lure of gangs, develop effective confl ict resolution and leadership skills and become “positive peer helpers,” or role models, for other adolescents.

Passport to Manhood - To teach and promote responsibility, reinforce positive behavior and develop character in adolescent males.

Power Hour - To help young people develop academic, behavioral and social skills through homework completion.

Project Learn - To reinforce the knowledge and skills youth learn in school by integrating fun, educational activities throughout Club programs.

Triple Play - To improve Club members’ knowledge of healthy habits, good nutrition and physical fi tness; increase the numbers of hours per day they participate in physical activities; and strengthen their ability to interact positively with others and engage in healthy relationships.

What is a festival without great music? Thankfully we won’t have to fi nd out at this year’s Dogwood Festival. The festival runs April 29 - May 1 and is sure to be spectacular. Carrie King, the executive director of the festival, would not accept anything less.

Country music lovers are in for a treat on Friday night when Jo Dee Messina takes the stage. She has charted nine Number One singles on the Billboard country music charts. She has been honored by the Country Music Association, the Academy of Country Music, and has been nominated for two Grammy Awards. She was the first female country artist to score three multiple-week Number One songs from the same album. Her top hits include “I’m Alright,” “Bye, Bye,” “My Give a Damn’s Busted,” “Bring on the Rain” and “Heads Carolina, Tails California.”

“She is huge. She’s had nine number one hits,” said King.“The second her name was brought to the table there was no one else to consider. She is an established artist. She has the hits... the recognition. She is a tough woman too, and I love to see a female who can deliver — and she really seems like she can deliver. I think she is going to put on a fabulous show.”

On Saturday, Everclear will rock festival park. The bands impressive career spans more than a decade with hits like “Learning How To Smile,” “I Will Buy You A New Life,” “Summerland,” “Everything To Everyone,” “Wonderful, Father Of Mine,” “Rock Star” and “The Maple Song.”

“Each year we are trying to feed a need in our community, and that is a genre, an age group. So obviously it is about bringing out the biggest groups that we can,” said King. “Last year when we gave everyone the opportunity to vote for their favorite band, that really tapped on a genre that we felt maybe we had been missing and that was that ‘90s-era group. So this year Everclear definitely taps into the folks that follow us on Twitter and are a part of the social media scene — a younger audience if you will.”

Sunday, look for something new in Festival Park as the Dogwood Festival presents “Homegrown Live.” This concert will showcase Fayetteville’s five best local bands. Rock 103 has taken on the daunting task of accepting applications from local bands and having a panel of judges choose the top 15, but it is the fans who have narrowed the category down to five. They’ll be on stage from 1-6 p.m., ready to impress the crowds and let everyone know just why they were voted Fayetteville’s best bands. Visit rock103rocks.com to find out more.

The Bud Light Stage in Festival Park is not the only musical venue for the weekend though. On Hay Street, Cape Fear Musical Center is sponsoring a stage that will offer everything from a showcase of their talented students Brian Willoughby, the Combutibles, Flynt, Coleman and Stone, a UNCP Faculty Jazz Trio and The Phaxtion. The Hay Street stage will have performers on deck from 1-5 p.m. on Saturday and from noon to 4 p.m. on Sunday.

The concerts are all free and open to the public as part of the Dogwood Celebration.

Photo: Jo Dee Messina

The 50/50 Rule Part Four

Family caregiving doesn’t typically run smoothly when brothers and sisters caring for seniors can’t agree. In the US, three key factors will influence whether relationships between the adult children will deteriorate and if quality of care will be compromised as a result, according to research conducted for the Home Instead Senior Care network. Those factors are the adult children’s ability to make im-portant decisions together; their ability to divide the caregiving workload; and their level of teamwork.

“My impression is that parents end up getting help when their children dis-agree, but I think the more common problem is that it’s hard on senior parents to know their children are in conflict,” said Ingrid Connidis, Ph.D., sibling rela-tionships expert from the University of Western Ontario. “I think for most it’s bad enough they already need the help of their children, but if their situation is causing conflict it’s especially tough,” said Connidis, who worked with the Home Instead Senior care network on the 50-50 Rule public education program for sibling caregiv-ers (www.solvingfamilyconflicts.com).

According to the website Caring.com, family feuds often involve the following areas

:• Roles and rivalries dating to childhood. Mature adults often find that they’re back in the sandbox when their family gets together. This tendency can grow more pronounced under the strain of caregiving.

• Disagreements over an older adult’s condition and capabilities. It’s common for family members to have very different ideas about what’s wrong with a loved one and what should be done about it. You may be convinced that your family member is no longer capable of driving, while your brothers argue that he needs to maintain his independence.

• Disagreements over financial matters, estate planning, family inheritance and other practical issues. How to pay for a family member’s care is often a huge cause of tension. Financial concerns can influence decisions about where the per-son should live, whether or not a particular medical intervention is needed, and whether he can afford a housekeeper. These conflicts are often fueled by ongoing resentment over income disparities and perceived inequities in the distribution of the family estate.

• Burden of care. Experts say the most common source of discord among fam-ily members occurs when the burden of caring for a senior isn’t distributed equally. “Usually one of the adult children in the family takes on most of the caregiv-ing tasks,” says Donna Schempp, program director at the Family Caregivers Alliance, a national nonprofit organization that provides information and sup-port to caregivers.

Engaging parents in caregiving issues is important, Dr. Connidis said, and so are family meetings that involve a third party if necessary. A third-party resource, particularly a professional such as a doctor or geriatric care manager, can provide an impartial voice of reason. “Talking before a crisis is best,” she said. “Talk to one another about perceptions of what happens if seniors need help, how available you would be, and the options that you and your family would consider.”Resources:

• The 50-50 Rule; www.solvingfamilyconflict.com

• The 40-70 Rule; www.4070talk.com

• Caring.com; www.caring.com

• Home Instead Senior Care; www.homeinstead.com

• Stages of Senior Care: Your Step-by-Step Guide to Making the Best Decisions; www.stagesofseniorcare.com

This is the last of 4 articles which addresses sibling is-sues in caring for their aging parents. If you would like a copy of “The 50-50 Rule” booklet, stop by the local Home Instead Senior Care office at 2825 Arlington Avenue, Fayetteville, N.C. 28303 or call us at 484-7200.

Photo: In the US, three key factors will influence whether relationships between the adult chil-dren will deteriorate and if quality of care will be compromised as a result.