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Tuesday, 04 January 2022
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Written by Cynthia Ross
The New Year celebration is a time-honored tradition that brings resolutions at each annual reset. New Year's resolutions are usually made with good intentions but fade as time passes. About 60% of us make resolutions, but only about 8% follow them through. The top New Year's resolutions include weight loss, exercise, saving money, learning a new skill, quitting smoking, reading more, finding another job, drinking less, drinking more water, getting organized and spending more time with family and friends. Nothing on the list mentions anything about personal me time and pampering yourself.
As a fitness trainer, I advocate for healthy eating, exercise and lifestyle. Lifestyle, however, also has to do with taking time for ourselves and personal indulgence. The holidays especially are a go, go, go, do, do, do. The holiday season is satisfying with the grand celebrations, charitable events, parties, family gatherings, fabulous meals and decorating. Still, the time spent on all of this may have left you feeling tired. Me-time is an essential part of well-being, and there is nothing wrong with feeling the need to crank it down a bit and do something for yourself without feeling guilty. Mental health is just as important as physical. A friend of mine has a one-liner; she often says, "Everyone has the same twenty-four hours in a day, and you cannot add to that period." It took a long time for me not to feel guilty about doing something for myself and to say no. It is usual for us to volunteer, be on committees, spend time with friends and it is easy for schedules to fill. It can be hard to say no to an increasingly busy schedule and find time to squeeze in one more thing. Saying no is better with a straightforward approach; don't make excuses. It can seem that one more thing will lead to an avalanche of responsibility to the point that you feel overwhelmed. It is unfair to you and those involved because quality is better than quantity when you overextend yourself. How often have you said, I do not know why I am doing this because I do not have the time. This year take your time to think about the commitment involved and ask questions.
We all need time for ourselves, and while what everyone likes to do varies, everyone's preferences are equally important. Your me-time may be a hobby, activity, going to lunch or shopping with friends. My indulgences are occasional spa visits. For me, there is nothing like a great facial, massage or pedicure. The personal time, relaxation, music and attentive pampering throw me in the ultimate state of relaxation with no thoughts of the outside world for an hour.
Make your resolutions — create a healthier you. Set small attainable goals and reward yourself when you reach them. Be involved with organizations, committees, fundraisers but don't feel you have to be involved in all of them. Remember to take me-time and make sure you set that time aside. It helps to have a schedule in front of you when making your decisions. Good decisions create less stress for you. Learn the art of saying no without feeling bad about it. You are not letting someone down if something is not a good fit, and you do not have to make excuses.
Live, love life, keep moving and remember you cannot squeeze more than twenty-four hours into a day.
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Tuesday, 04 January 2022
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Written by Margaret Dickson
Let’s be honest—2021 was a long and dreadful year with COVID-19 in its various iterations and toxic political divisions that separate family and friends and threaten our very democracy. We continue to face uncertainty at every turn, and we feel beleaguered. So, while we may have celebrated, at least sort of, the arrival of 2022, nothing has changed.
Shortly before the New Year arrived, the quintessentially American author and journalist, Joan Didion, died at 87. Her long and storied career taught us about ourselves in stressful periods of American history. She also knew a thing or two about loss and killing sadness and wrote about that as well, work that earned her a National Book Award. Before deep personal trials beset her early in her career, Didion wrote a 1961 essay for VOGUE entitled “Self-Respect: Its Source, Its Power.” Her essay has been widely referenced and reprinted since her death, and it seems newly powerful as we slide into a new year saddled with the angst of the unknown.
Here is some of what Didion, then 27, says about those with self-respect and the strength that comes with it, you can find the full essay at www.vogue.com/article/joan-didion-self-respect-essay-1961
“… people with self-respect have the courage of their mistakes. They know the price of things. If they choose to commit adultery, they do not then go running, in an access of bad consciences, to receive absolution from the wronged parties; nor do they complain of the unfairness, the undeserved embarrassment, of being named correspondent….
“In brief, people with self-respect exhibit a certain toughness, a kind of moral nerve; they display what was once called character, a quality which, although approved in the abstract, sometimes loses ground to other, more instantly negotiable virtues. The measure of its slipping prestige is that one tends to think of it only in connection with homely children and with United States senators who have been defeated, preferably in the primary, for re-election. Nonetheless, character—the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life—is the source from which self-respect springs.
“Self-respect is something that our grandparents, whether or not they had it, knew all about. They had instilled in them, young, a certain discipline, the sense that one lives by doing things one does not particularly want to do, by putting fears and doubts to one side, by weighing immediate comforts against the possibility of larger, even intangible, comforts….
“That kind of self-respect is a discipline, a habit of mind that can never be faked but can be developed, trained, coaxed forth….
“To have that sense of one’s intrinsic worth which, for better or for worse, constitutes self-respect, is potentially to have everything: the ability to discriminate, to love and to remain indifferent. To lack it is to be locked within oneself, paradoxically incapable of either love or indifference.
“…to free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves—there lies the great, singular power of self-respect. Without it, one eventually discovers the final turn of the screw: one runs away to find oneself, and finds no one at home.”
Didion’s words from six decades ago do not address COVID-19 or our endangered nation, but they do guide us. She tells us to know ourselves and be responsible for ourselves, not to be led blindly by others—social media come to mind here with politics and pandemics. She suggests not to take the immediate comfort—think no mask or social distancing, but to head for the longer-term goal of a healthy community.
None of us knows what 2022 will bring, but going with the flow in both politics and healthy living is rarely the answer.
Wishing you and those you love a healthy and happy 2022.
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