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Gregg’s excellent Waffle House adventure

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Tuesday, 28 April 2026

Written by Pitt Dickey

Right now you are probably asking yourself: “Self, are there clues in the Gilligan’s Island Theme Song about how to teleport to a Waffle House?” The answer is clearly yes. “Just sit right back/ And you’ll hear a tale/ A tale of a fateful trip/ That started with a hungry guy/ Aboard a teleported ship.”
That’s right, friends and neighbors; we are going to learn of the miraculous teleporting trip of Gregg Phillips, who was recently appointed head of the US Federal Emergency Management Office of Response and Recovery. Being head of the FEMA office charged with responding to national emergencies is a pretty serious responsibility.
It is heartwarming to know that Gregg will be working when the hurricanes hit this summer. Rest easy, America. Gregg is on the job. He can get to any trouble spot in the US almost instantaneously using teleportation. Gregg related this story to the Onward podcast in January 2025.
Ponder what Gregg revealed. One night, Gregg took a hankering for some good eats at the local Waffle House. I understand his desire for good vittles. When feeling a bit down, my wife and I go to our local Waffle House for a quick meal to restore our equilibrium. Where else in America (other than IHOP) can you get a five-star floor show after midnight from the other patrons?
The Waffle House is a place of many culinary wonders. It has more different delicious kinds of waffles than you can shake a stick at. Choose from Classic waffles, Chocolate chip waffles, Peanut butter chip waffles, or Blueberry waffles. If you want heartier fare, consider the Cheesesteak Melt Hashbrown Bowl, the Sausage Egg & Cheese Grits Bowl, the Texas Chicken Melt sandwich, the Chicken Fiesta Protein Bowl, or the Ham, Egg, & Cheese Hashbrown bowl. You cannot go wrong with any of these fine options.
Now, back to Gregg’s Big Adventure. Gregg was at home with the family when the lure of the Waffle House suddenly struck him.
He told his boys, “I was gonna go to the Waffle House to get some Waffle House. I ended up at a Waffle House about 50 miles away from where I was.” The boys asked him where he was.
“I said, ‘Waffle House in Rome, Georgia.’ And they said, “That’s not possible, you just left here a moment ago. But it was possible. It was real.’”
Gregg explained that he had been teleported after his car was “lifted up” and ended up in a ditch near a church some 40 miles away. After that startling trip, he said his car was teleported again to a Waffle House 50 miles away in Rome, Georgia.
Gregg does not recommend teleportation as a form of mass transit. He told the podcast, “Teleporting is no fun. You know it’s happening, but you can’t do anything about it, and so you just go along for the ride. And wow, what just an incredible adventure it all was.”
Words of wisdom.
Some mysteries remain unsolved. It remains unclear what delicious food Gregg ordered at the Waffle House or why the teleportation initially deposited his car in a ditch near a church before completing his odyssey to the Waffle House.
If Mr. Sulu had been operating the Transporter on the Star Ship Enterprise, perhaps Sulu would have been distracted momentarily by Tribbles or Lieutenant Uhura’s form-fitting uniform. We may never know. The staff at the Rome Waffle House was questioned, but denied seeing Gregg or anyone else teleported there on the night in question.
The possibility that Men in Black may have used a Neuralyzer to wipe out the staff’s memories of Gregg’s teleportation cannot be ruled out.
Unfortunately, there are skeptics doubting Gregg’s story. O ye of little faith. A pox on your houses. If Gregg said it, I believe it, and that settles it. Scorners may sneer at, and whitlings defame him.
Still, my heart swells with gladness whenever Gregg tells his story. Gregg defends his three-hour teleportation tour, writing on social media that “I know what I experienced and haters got to hate.”
I am proud to be an American, where at least I know Gregg is free to teleport to disaster areas to bring the healing hands of FEMA to bind up the nation’s wounds during hurricane season.
Sleep well, America. Even though Gregg was teleported to a ditch near a church, he persevered, completing his quest to dine at the Waffle House. You’re in good hands with Gregg in charge of FEMA.

(Illustration by Pitt Dickey)

Coffee, Pie, and a Lifetime of Wisdom

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Tuesday, 21 April 2026

Written by Dan DeBruler

I’m a huge fan of “next.” When new technology shows up, I’m quick to learn it, test it, and imagine what it might become. When it comes to software or services, that mindset has led to more than a few canceled “free trials.”
But somewhere along the way, I realized something—our culture treats people the same way. We move so fast that we shelve what’s familiar in favor of whatever feels new. And in doing that, we risk overlooking something deeply valuable. Not things… people.
Years ago, when my wife and I first became Christians, we were barely adults—19 and 21—with a child of our own. My father had just passed, and Dorothy hadn’t seen hers in years. We didn’t need something new. We needed something steady.
That’s when an older, small-church pastor in southern Arizona took an interest in us.
He didn’t impress us with flash or innovation. He simply showed up. He preached on Sunday, but he also checked in on Monday. He’d take me out for coffee and pie during the week. He listened more than he spoke, and when he did speak, it carried the weight of a life that had been lived, tested, and proven.
Over time, that became our normal. Not a program. Not a strategy. A relationship.
What we didn’t fully realize then was how deeply that investment would shape us. His wisdom wasn’t theoretical—it was lived out in front of us. His presence gave us stability when everything else felt uncertain. And his willingness to pour into a young couple set a pattern that would influence the next forty years of our lives.
Here’s what I’ve come to believe: we don’t honor senior adults by simply caring for them—we honor them by listening to them, learning from them, and inviting them into the work that still needs to be done.
They are not relics of the past. They are repositories of wisdom. So here’s the challenge.
If you’re younger, find someone older and lean in. Ask questions. Make time. Don’t just admire their story—learn from it.
If you’re older, don’t assume your time of influence has passed. Someone needs what you’ve lived. Step in. Speak up. Show up. And for all of us—let’s stop chasing “next” long enough to recognize what’s already been given to us.
Because sometimes, the very thing we’re tempted to overlook… is exactly what we need most.

On Housing Affordability, Deeds Trump Words

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Tuesday, 28 April 2026

Written by John Hood

Most federal, state, and local policymakers are saying the right things about housing. Our leaders say they want to make it easier for young people to purchase homes and for older people to keep them. But are they doing enough to turn their words into deeds?
To make housing more affordable, we must build more of it. Expand supply to meet demand, and prices will adjust accordingly. That’s how the market process works. And this comports with the findings of most empirical research on the issue, which shows a positive relationship between barriers to new housing and its average price.
How can policymakers encourage more housing supply? By easing regulations that limit where new housing can go, how many units can be constructed per acre, and how many (non-safety) amenities are required. By streamlining the process to get a building permit. By eliminating tariffs on lumber, steel, appliances, fixtures, and other goods used to produce housing for sale. And by creating more ways for skilled workers to emigrate legally to the country to fill construction jobs, while also encouraging and training young people to enter the field.
Want to make it easier for households to obtain mortgages? Rather than monkeying around with price controls or pressuring the Federal Reserve to lower rates, policymakers should go after one of the primary pressures on credit markets: Washington’s reckless deficit-spending. When the government is borrowing heavily, Adam Millsap of Stand Together Trust argues, “it has to increase interest rates to attract more investors,” and then those higher Treasury rates “push up mortgage rates, as well as car loans, small business loans, credit card rates, etc.”
These aren’t new ideas. Outside the fever swamps of populist and socialist agitation, they aren’t even particularly controversial ideas. But applying them consistently can be difficult. Every zoning code, bureaucratic delay, import tax, and labor-market regulation has a political constituency — someone who gains, or at least expects to gain, by shutting others out.
Despite these challenges, state and local leaders in North Carolina have implemented some important reforms in recent years. As a result, we are, indeed, better off than most places. According to the latest data I could find, only Idaho is adding new housing stock at a faster rate than North Carolina is. Among large metropolitan areas, Raleigh-Cary topped the list with 28.8 new units per 1,000 existing homes, followed by Austin (28.6), Dallas (22.2), Houston (21.6), and Phoenix (21.4). Charlotte-Concord-Gastonia came in sixth with 21.3. Among mid-size metros, both Wilmington (1) and Asheville (10) ranked high. Among small metros, Burlington ranked fifth.
Because North Carolina is adding population faster than the nation as a whole, such increases in supply won’t necessarily yank housing prices dramatically downward. What they will do — what they already seem to have done — is lessen the upward pressure on prices, and produce modest declines in some local and regional markets.
Now is no time to pause, however. Some of our competitors are pressing forward with ambitious reforms. Colorado and Arizona, for example, have adopted statewide reforms to permit residential uses in commercial zones, allow single-stair multifamily designs, and ease parking mandates. Lawmakers in Florida, Idaho, and Virginia have enacted bills requiring their municipalities to legalize manufactured homes within their jurisdictions. I’ve long been an advocate for this policy, which taps the tremendous potential of mass production and automation to serve a broad swath of price-sensitive workers, young families, and retirees.
Matching words with deeds on housing is the right thing to do. It’s also the politically astute thing to do. Affordability remains a top priority for voters. A recent High Point University poll revealed significant pessimism among North Carolina voters, with 59% describing America’s economy as getting worse rather than better, 54% opposing the administration’s tariffs, and 81% saying price increases have greatly or somewhat affected their spending decisions.
Many barriers make housing artificially scarce and thus inordinately expensive. We can’t afford to keep talking about them. They must come down.

Editor's Note: John Hood is a John Locke Foundation board member. His books Mountain Folk, Forest Folk, and Water Folk combine epic fantasy with American history (FolkloreCycle.com).

Troy's Perspective: County & city show optimistic growth

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Tuesday, 21 April 2026

Written by Troy Williams

Fayetteville and Cumberland County have made notable progress in recent years, which can boost community pride and support. Recognizing these achievements encourages us to aim higher and work together to make our community a destination for quality of life, culture, events, businesses, and belonging. Below is an overview of how this transformation is taking shape.
Construction has begun on the North Carolina History Center, focused on the Civil War, Emancipation, and Reconstruction. Cumberland County is becoming a destination for visitors interested in these transformative periods, thanks to community support and involvement.
The center will feature interactive exhibits, educational programs, and historical artifacts, making it a valuable resource for the community and visitors alike. Initially, some community members expressed concerns, but through informative outreach and education, their hesitance has turned into strong, enthusiastic support.
Fayetteville is proud to host the Woodpeckers, a minor league baseball team, at Segra Stadium on Hay Street in downtown. Since 2019, Fayetteville has embraced minor league baseball, reviving a long-standing tradition and bringing vibrant entertainment and community spirit. The city's baseball history dates back to the early 1900s, reflecting a deep-rooted love for the sport that continues to unite residents today.
In anticipation of an official grand opening for Fayetteville Cumberland County Parks and Recreation, a new tennis center spanning 6,594 square feet will include 11 tennis courts, with one designated as a championship competition court. The facility will also feature four pickleball courts, locker rooms, a lounge, a learning area, and a pro shop, offering improved recreational opportunities for residents of all ages and skill levels.
Last week, the Fayetteville City Council officially voted to move forward with a major new sports complex. They unanimously approved a $13.6 million construction contract for the McArthur Road Sports Field Complex. The new sports center will include: 12 baseball fields, a multi-use building with restrooms, concessions, office space, an open-air pavilion, a second concession/restroom facility, and more than 500 parking spaces.
The Cumberland County Board of Commissioners has taken an important step by initiating a comprehensive feasibility study for a proposed countywide aquatic center. It's important to note that approval of this study does not guarantee construction will proceed.
However, it represents a significant forward-looking initiative that includes plans for an Olympic-size pool, various types of pools, seating for 2,500 spectators, and additional amenities.
Our community confronts serious issues in crime, education, and economic development; however, we are also presented with abundant opportunities, growth, and optimism for the future.

(Photo: The Courts at Glenville Lake is a new facility with tennis and pickleball courts, a pro shop and a learning area. Photo courtesy of the City of Fayetteville)