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Tuesday, 20 May 2025
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Written by Pitt Dickey
Right now you are probably asking yourself: “Self, what would Shakespeare think about our modern-day Romeo and Juliet story of Bill Belichick and his lady love Jordon Hudson?” Shakespeare might say.
“What is so rare as a Jordon in June?”
The biggest news this Spring was not the appointment of a new Pope, but the elevation of Bill Belichick’s girlfriend to be the face of the UNC football program. Friends, Tar Heels, Countrymen, lend me your ears while UNC raises the price of football tickets at Kenan Stadium.
Tar Heel football is providing bread and circuses instead of gridiron greatness on a scale reminiscent of the most decadent stages of the late, great Roman Empire. Today’s column is a Shakespearean salute to Jordon Hudson, who has proved that love conquers all.
In a mangled version of Marc Antony’s funeral oration at Caesar’s passing, I come to praise Jordon, not to bury her. She may have come in third at the Maine Miss USA pageant behind the winner, Miss Bangor, but she remains number one in the hearts of Tar Heel fans everywhere. She has single-handedly made the Tar Heel football program the number one sports story. How do we love her? Let us count the ways. Her rise to prominence began with her December/May romance with our very own Coach Belichick. Coach is 73, Jordon is 24. A mere 49-year difference in ages is no barrier to true love.
Coach Bill was engaged in a TV interview when some CBS smarty pants talking head had the nerve to ask Bill how he and Jordon met. Jordon, sitting off-screen, interrupted and sternly announced: “We’re not talking about that.”
Coach Bill clammed up per Jordon’s orders. As Marc Antony said: “The evil that men do lives after them/ The good is oft interred with their bones.” How Bill and Jordon met remains more secure classified information than a Pete Hegseth text about a military attack on Houthis and the Blowfish.
Cry-babies in the sports media and Saturday Night Live assumed the top-secret nature of how our love birds met meant something nefarious was going on. How wrong can they be? Their initial meeting was likely at an innocent church picnic where Bill was grilling burgers and Jordon was teaching the children cheers and baton twirling. It is beyond churlish to presume otherwise. As Mr. Antony said: “O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts/ And men have lost their reason.” The sports world’s repugnant fascination with the story of Jordon and Bill defies all reason.
The next tiny little event that was blown way out of proportion was the fake news report on ESPN that our heroine Jordon had been barred from entry onto the Carolina football stadium and related gridiron environs. To those who spread this scurrilous rumor, I say: “Fie on you, thou cream-faced loon. A pox on your throat. Degenerate and base art thou. There is no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune. You beetle-headed flap-ear’d knave,” stop slandering our beloved Jordon. We need her to lead the Heels to gridiron glory.
Shortly after the fake news that she had been banned from UNC’s football facilities, the University put out an official statement refuting Jordon’s alleged banishment, saying: “While Jordon is not an employee of the University or Carolina Athletics, she is welcome to the Carolina Football facilities. Jordon will continue to manage all activities related to Coach Belichick’s personal brand outside of his responsibilities for Carolina Football and the University.” If UNC says it, I believe it. And that settles it. Jordon Rules! Long may she reign. Fake Media take back your lies: “Away you starveling, you elf skin, you dried neats-tongue, bull’s pizzle, You Stock fish!”
You scurvy fellow travelers of the lying media. “Thou tongues outvenom all the worms of the Nile.” Your lies about Jordon are of the “rankest compound of villainous smell that ever-offended nostrils.”
Jordon is here to stay in command at UNC. Unless, of course, she enters the transfer portal and takes up with the Oracle of Omaha, the recently retired Warren Buffett. A 94-year-old multi-billionaire with an old heart might tempt any young lady with a desire for some real NIL money. Carolina football fans: Fasten your seat belts, it’s gonna be a bumpy night. Don’t put your faith in stewed prunes. Jordon will be with us unless she gets a better offer. As Andy Griffith would say: “What is was, was football.”
(Illustration by Pitt Dickey)
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Wednesday, 14 May 2025
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Written by Jimmy Keefe
We’ve all heard the saying, “If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.” Unfortunately, it appears we have doubled down on the dig.
In 2013, during my tenure as Chairman of the Cumberland County Commissioners, I presented a bold vision: a new Performing Arts Center to anchor and energize our downtown, a vision rooted in the 1996 Marvin Plan for downtown revitalization. Over the past three decades, additional studies by professionals have consistently supported the need for a large entertainment complex in our city center. This project had the potential to be transformational — the largest public investment ever made downtown, yet here we are, once again watching politics derail a project that has broad support and proven economic potential.
One of the most misunderstood aspects of the Crown Event Center is how it’s funded. The facility would be financed using restricted revenues from the Food & Beverage Tax and a portion of the Local Occupancy Tax. These funds cannot be used for public safety, infrastructure, or social services. They are strictly designated for arts and entertainment projects and must be administered through the Crown Commission, which currently oversees the Crown Complex. Delays risk forfeiting access to these funds altogether, a long-term loss this community simply cannot afford.
Before the current Board of Commissioners initially paused the project, it was ahead of schedule and under budget. Over $40 million has already been spent — and that figure excludes future costs related to legal action, contractual penalties, repairs, and the damage done to our community’s image. To put this in perspective, the entire downtown baseball stadium project was budgeted at $35 million. Delaying or abandoning the Performing Arts Center now is akin to stopping the stadium mid-construction and surrendering that investment with nothing to show for it
When I was first elected commissioner in 2008, my daughter Emily was not yet a year old. She is now preparing for her senior year of high school. We have lost almost two decades of opportunity for her and other children in our community to grow up with access to a vibrant arts venue. While my family has enjoyed countless nights at the baseball stadium — thanks to the foresight and commitment of city leaders — those same benefits have been denied to families passionate about the arts. Our community has far too few spaces for young people interested in theater, music, and dance. In Wake County, a similar facility supports nearly 20 youth programs. Why can’t Cumberland County do the same?
The decision to build downtown was not made lightly. Over many years, there were countless stakeholder meetings, professional consultations, citizen surveys, and financial analyses. Of the multiple sites evaluated, the top three were all located downtown. The current Crown Theater site on Highway 301 consistently ranked at or near the bottom in every report. The original plan — when the new Crown Coliseum was built in the mid-90s — was to demolish the aging arena and theater, and for good reason. These buildings have long outlived their purpose and are no longer fit for modern, accessible, or revenue-generating events.
This new Crown Event Center is more than a cultural hub — it’s an engine for economic development. Currently, Cumberland is the only county in North Carolina with more than 250,000 residents that doesn’t have a facility like this. The proposed downtown location meets every reasonable criterion: it’s on public land, has planned parking, supports local and surrounding businesses, and allows for future growth. Experts believe the design and location could make the facility self-sustaining. Contrast this with the proposal to renovate the old site on Highway 301 — an area with a 60-year history of economic stagnation. That’s like halting the downtown baseball stadium after millions invested and deciding to renovate J.P. Riddle Stadium instead. Many believe it to be a short-sighted move that ignores everything we’ve learned.
Some commissioners cite concerns about parking downtown, but anyone who’s attended multiple events at the Crown Complex knows that parking logistics are already a challenge at the existing site. In fact, simultaneous events could result in longer walks to your seat than what you’d face downtown — not to mention downtown’s potential for shared-use garages, walkability, and business synergy.
There’s also been talk about a dispute over architectural fees. While I’m aware of the issue, halting a $145 million project over a disagreement representing less than 1% of the total cost does not seem logical. Imagine building a $200,000 home, getting a $2,000 overage bill, and choosing to abandon the house after investing $50,000. No reasonable person would make that decision — yet that seems to be the path we are on.
In conclusion, it appears there is concern from some members of the board on this downtown project that has been thoughtfully planned for over three decades — one that is fully funded, publicly vetted, and widely supported. There seems to be a push to replace it with an underwhelming alternative that lacks a plan, funding, vision, or economic upside. I respect their need to get up to speed, but the delays — now surpassing 60 days — are already generating millions in additional costs and potentially irreversible setbacks. This self-inflicted harm may ultimately be used to justify abandoning the downtown project, which would be a tragic mistake for our community.
Let’s be clear: this Crown Event Center is not just about bricks and mortar — it’s about who we are and who we want to be. A thriving, culturally rich, economically vibrant Cumberland County needs this facility. I can only hope elected leaders will act swiftly to continue with the plan for this downtown entertainment center.
(Photo: The proposed Crown Event Center in downtown Fayetteville is shown here in an artist's rendering from EwingCole.)