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Finding depth in connections

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Tuesday, 19 May 2026

Written by Dan DeBruler

Relationships thrive in the deep. One key is to move beyond the shallow and into the kind of authenticity where you’re not always the hero of your own story.
That kind of depth doesn’t happen by accident. It happens in moments—often small, unguarded, and easily overlooked. Around a dinner table. On a front porch. In a circle of people sharing a meal, a story, or even just silence. Those moments have a way of changing people. They shape relationships, and over time, they shape culture.
Jesus seemed to understand that. Many of His most meaningful interactions didn’t happen from a stage or at a distance, but in close, personal settings—meals, conversations, shared space. There’s something about being face-to-face, without pretense, that invites honesty. And honesty is where real connection begins.
The problem is, those moments have been slowly disappearing.
Most of us can smile at the old lyric, “video killed the radio star,” because in many ways it rang true. Technology replaced something simpler, something more personal. I once heard someone make a similar observation: “Air conditioning killed the family.” It sounds strange at first, but the idea sticks. There was a time when people gathered outside in the evening—on porches, in yards—because it was cooler there. Families talked. Neighbors drifted over. Conversations unfolded naturally. And when we moved inside, into perfectly controlled environments, something shifted. We traded shared space for separate rooms.
And now, we’re here. More reachable, but less connected. Social media has given everyone a voice—not inherently bad—but it has also created a constant stream of noise. Opinions come fast, reactions come faster, and before long, we’re not really listening anymore. We’re just responding.
At the same time, there’s a tendency in all of us to look for something bigger, better, or more satisfying just over the horizon. We want the “promised land”—the ideal version of life, relationships, or success—while overlooking the “daily bread” already in front of us. The ordinary moments. The conversations we could have if we’d just slow down long enough to have them.
We also tend to lean on voices that tell us what we want to hear about the future—pundits, influencers, commentators—rather than grounding ourselves in what’s real and present. So we speculate rather than engage. Scroll rather than sit across from someone and be known.
Depth requires something different.
It requires presence. It requires listening. It requires the humility to step into a conversation without needing to win it—or to be seen as the hero in it.
If relationships really do thrive in the deep, then maybe the way forward isn’t more noise, more speed, or more distance. Maybe it’s a return to the table. A return to shared space. A return to conversations where people are seen, heard, and known—not for their best moments, but for who they really are.
That’s where connection lives. And it’s still available—if we’re willing to choose it.

What About the Boomers’ Kiddos and Grands?

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Tuesday, 19 May 2026

Written by Margaret Dickson

I am a proud Baby Boomer and happy to say so.
My generation includes the 76-to-78 million Americans fortunate enough to be born just after World War II between 1946 and 1964. As the children of people Tom Brokaw dubbed “the greatest generation,” we first drew breath into an economy booming with post war veterans. They were thrilled to have survived the worldwide conflict and anxious to get on with their lives. Millions of veterans headed to college on the newly-minted GI bill and started families that peaked with an average of 4 children per household.
The Haymount neighborhood in which my sister and I grew up teemed with children and dogs who ran around together in packs as leash laws were a thing of the future. Most mothers stayed at home and most dads were climbing advancement ladders in their chosen fields. Households were generally disciplined and children were taught to pay attention to all adults. Structure, hard work, and thrift were important values even in an economy that floated most boats for about 3 decades. Religion, generally Christianity, was a significant part of family life for most Americans.
Ours was not a perfect childhood or a seamless transition into adulthood and the working world with the backdrop of the Vietnam conflict and massive social upheavals, but for the large part we Boomers had family structure and an economy that worked for most Americans, enabling home ownership and a good shot at education.
Today’s working Americans, specifically Generations X and Y (Millennials), born between 1965-1980 and 1981-1996, respectively, are having a difficult go.
Both Xs and Ys are finding themselves caught between their Boomer parents and their own children—the so-called “sandwich generation,” with little time and often little money for themselves. The goal of work-life balance seems out of reach.
They also face significant financial pressures from paychecks that do not keep up with inflation, student loan debt, economic downturns over which they have no control, and the growing wealth gap between the haves and the have-nots. Both Xs and Ys have trouble saving for retirement, and at the same time, they face the possibility that Social Security, American retirees’ mainstay for the better part of a century, will not be there for them.
Layer on the rapid growth of technology and the necessity of adapting to it in both work and personal lives, and the pressure can feel overwhelming.
This is the national atmosphere in which Americans are approaching the 2026 midterm elections in a nation divided not only along strict party lines but also facing stark differences on both domestic and international issues. All of us vote based on our own experiences, ages, educational levels, where we live and many other factors. This year, perhaps more so than in the past, we should look at the broader picture, including the daunting situations facing not only ourselves but those coming behind us whose roads ahead look different from the ones we Boomers trod and perhaps even more difficult.
Just as I try to imagine what my grandparents and parents would think of life in 2026 America, I wonder what the lives of my children and grandchildren will be like in 2056 and what I can do to make them better.

Troy's Perspective: Visiting Louisiana v. Callais

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Tuesday, 19 May 2026

Written by Troy Williams

On April 29, 2026, the U.S. Supreme Court issued a significant ruling in Louisiana v. Callais, deciding 6-3 to reinterpret the Voting Rights Act. This decision makes it more challenging to contest voting maps that are allegedly racially discriminatory. The repercussions of this ruling are expected to be felt across the United States, including in Cumberland County and Fayetteville.
The Voting Rights Act (VRA), which was enacted on August 6, 1965, by President Lyndon B. Johnson, was a groundbreaking law aimed at protecting minority voters from harassment, intimidation, and violence. It reinforced the importance of equitable voting practices for all citizens. In response to the ruling, Democrats have claimed that the Supreme Court has effectively created a new form of Jim Crow, commonly referred to as Jim Crow 2.0.
Instead of engaging with the Democrats' rhetoric, it is important to note that the Supreme Court's decision did not reinstate legal and bureaucratic barriers such as literacy tests and poll taxes, which historically denied African Americans their right to vote. Instead, the ruling affects how voting maps are drawn and influences practices related to gerrymandering.
A frequently alleged quote attributed to President Lyndon B. Johnson— "I'll have them n*****s voting Democratic for the next 200 years"—is often mentioned in discussions about the Voting Rights Act. The facts show that Johnson did frequently use the “N” word; the facts also show that since 1965, African Americans have remained the most reliable voting bloc for the Democratic Party.
What does this unwavering loyalty to the Democratic Party mean for African Americans? Consider this: data shows that most of the poorest congressional districts in the United States are majority Black drawn districts. On the other hand, while many African American members of Congress may not be classified as "super-rich," they are certainly not the "poor cousins," with reported net worths typically in the low to mid millions.
For decades, the Black community has remained "blindly loyal" to the Democratic Party without receiving substantial benefits in return. Mark Fisher of Black Lives Matter Rhode Island summarized this sentiment by stating that the community has been "loyal to the Democratic Party for no reason," highlighting ongoing challenges related to crime, poverty, and education.
Historically, prominent figures like Malcolm X, warned that "white liberals" could be the most deceptive enemies of Black progress, and Martin Luther King Jr., reportedly expressed fears of integrating his people into a "burning house."
What does this mean for Cumberland County and Fayetteville? It is likely to result in the removal of Black-drawn legislative districts at both the state and local levels. However, this does not imply a loss of Black representation, as most voters in Fayetteville are African American, and Cumberland County has a nearly even racial distribution.
Partisan gerrymandering will be with us for a while. Still, I hope our politics will eventually reflect Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s famous line about being judged by the "content of their character" rather than the "color of their skin."

Publisher's Pen: Kiwanis Terrific Kids Celebrate Excellence

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Tuesday, 19 May 2026

Written by Bill Bowman

A Legacy of Character and Community
For over a century, the Fayetteville Kiwanis Club has been a pillar of our local community. Founded in 1920 by 20 local businessmen, this organization has grown into a vibrant force of over 150 men and women dedicated to community service.
While their history includes hosting an International President and three District Governors, their heart has always been with the youth of Fayetteville and Cumberland County. Nowhere is this more evident than in the commitment to the Terrific Kids program.
A Global Leader Right Here at Home
It's a little-known fact that the Kiwanis Terrific Kids program was North Carolina born in 1982 in Black Mountain, as a way to encourage character development and perseverance in learning. Today, the Fayetteville Kiwanis Club’s chapter is the largest in the world, reaching over 20,000 students right here in Cumberland County.
What does it mean to be a "Terrific Kid"?
It isn't just about getting the best grades—it's about personal growth. Students collaborate with their teachers to set specific goals in areas such as:
• Behavioral improvement
• Strengthening peer relationships
• Consistent attendance
• Academic perseverance
When a student meets their goal, they are celebrated with certificates, bookmarks, and local rewards that reinforce their hard work and boost their self-esteem.
Honoring the "Terrific Kid of the Year"
While they celebrate every student who hits their milestones, Kiwanis also recognizes 40 exceptional young leaders who have demonstrated these qualities consistently throughout the school year.
"Terrific Kids is more than an award; it's a recognition of a student's commitment to becoming the best version of themselves."
Terrific Kid of the Year recipients receive:
*Personalized recognition plaque.
*$50 gift card
*Book on financial literacy to help them manage their future.
A Community Effort
This massive undertaking would not be possible without the incredible support of Cumberland County educators and community partners.
A special Fayetteville Kiwanis Club thank you to:
• Our School Leaders: The principals and counselors who facilitate these goals daily.
• Our Major Sponsor: Wendy’s of Fayetteville, whose long-standing partnership ensures students feel truly celebrated.
And, to all the Terrific Kids: We recognize your hard work, your kindness, and your grit. You are Fayetteville's future, and we couldn't be prouder.
For 30 years, this newspaper has addressed the good things about living in this community. It just doesn't get any better than our Kiwanis Terrific Kids.
Thank you for reading Up & Coming Weekly.

(Photo: Kiwanis Club Kids Baseball is one of the many ways the Fayetteville Kiwanis Club supports kids in Cumberland County. Photo courtesy of Fayetteville, NC Kiwanis Club's Facebook page)