The Peanuts characters come to life in Clark Gesner’s adaptation of Charles M. Schultz’s classic comic strip in the musical, “You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown.” Audiences will enjoy the regular Peanuts storyline with the ever-bossy Lucy, who is still trying to get Schroeder’s attention regardless of whether or not he notices her. Then there’s Sally who’s still picking on her crush, Linus, who of course doesn’t go anywhere without his blanket. And finally, there’s Snoopy and Charlie Brown. Snoopy still has his doghouse and still lives out his dream of being the Red Baron, and Charlie Brown is, well, his lovable self. And they will all be at Gilbert Theater Sept. 20-Oct.6. 

Gage Long plays the Schroeder. Long is thrilled to be in this production because it’s fun and the cast is great. He’s excited to bring the character of Schroeder to life.

The production of “You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown” runs Sept. 20-Oct. 6. Ticket prices range from $14 to $16, or $10 with groups of 10 or more. Visit www.gilberttheater.com for tickets and information.

The town of Hope Mills scored the ultimate win-win for its police department last week as the Board of Commissioners voted unanimously to add a specialized armored vehicle to the rolling stock of police chief Joel Acciardo’s department.

 

The best news about the acquisition is the vehicle won’t cost the town a cent.

 

The commissioners voted 5-0 to accept an Oshkosh M-ATV from the U.S. Military Law Enforcement Support Program. Estimated value of the vehicle is $767,360.

 

“We are eligible to receive equipment from the federal government as long as it’s used for law enforcement purposes,’’ Acciardo said.

 

In addition to being lightly armored, Acciardo said the M-ATV has what’s called deepwater fording capabilities. “We’ll be able to use it for deep water rescue operations,’’ he said.

 

Acciardo said the town already experienced a situation where a vehicle like the M-ATV would have been helpful — during Hurricane Matthew in 2016. Residents of the retirement center on Cameron Road had to be evacuated because of rising water there. “That pretty much cemented the usefulness of vehicles like that for us,’’ Acciardo said.

 

But deepwater rescue isn’t the only thing the vehicle could help with, and Acciardo is hopeful it never has to be used for this purpose.

 

“One of the things we identified early on that we needed was a vehicle that would allow us to get closer to victims and place officers closer to where an active shooter is,’’ he said. “The M-ATV matches all those requirements. You have high ground clearance, deepwater fording capabilities and it’s lightly armored.

 

“That kind of checks a whole bunch of blocks.’’

 

Acciardo said there are other companies that make vehicles similar to the M-ATV, but they are extremely expensive and out of the price range for a smaller agency like the Hope Mills Police Department.

With the donation of the M-ATV from the military, Acciardo said the only cost to Hope Mills will be to get it here, license it and paint it.

 

While Hope Mills has mutual aid agreements with other local police departments and would get their cooperation in an active shooter situation, Acciardo said time is of the utmost importance, and having its own specialized vehicle here improves the Hope Mills police’s chances of responding quicker.

 

Acciardo said the M-ATV the town is getting is about nine years old and has less than 60,000 miles on it.

 

The vehicle’s cab has room for a driver and four passengers. The rear area of the vehicle can be used to carry either cargo or more people.

 

A training program will be required for those who will operate the vehicle. He estimates anywhere from five to six senior police officers will be trained as drivers so the department can assign one driver per shift to be available if the vehicle is called into service.

 

He estimated it’ll take about 90 days to be able to put the vehicle in service, hopefully by mid-November or mid-December.

 

With proper care and maintenance, he estimates the town could get up to 20 years of service from the vehicle.

 

“You won’t see it in a parade, you won’t see it at a demonstration, you won’t see it on patrol,’’ he said. “You’ll see it when there is a weather event, a natural disaster or, God forbid, an active shooter situation.

“That’s the whole purpose of it, to have the resource and hope you never have to use it. You have to be prepared in today’s world.’’

Picture 1: Chief Joel Acciardo 

Picture 2: M-ATV similar to the one Hope Mills is getting 

There is a party happening here in Fayetteville that you do not want to miss! Rising to the challenge yet again, Cape Fear Regional Theater, under the auspices of Artistic Director Mary Kate Burke, kicked off the 2019-2020 theater season with “Mamma Mia!” easily rivaling last year’s “Music City” opener.
 

Among the night’s outstanding performances were those turned in by Scenic Designer Sarah Harris and Scenic Artist David Rawlins, who managed to make an entire Greek island resort, including the surrounding sea, come breathtakingly alive. The movie version’s soundstage didn’t do it any better. And the movie version didn’t offer theatergoers an onstage bar, which really got the party going.

 With music and lyrics by Bjorn Ulvaeus, Benny Andersson and Stig Anderson and a book by Catherine Johnson, credit the able direction of Suzanne Agins, along with the choreography of Ryan Migge, and the sterling performance of Zeek Smith and his orchestra for keeping the show fast-paced, lively and fun. Along with the accessible bar, using the theater’s aisles to help stage several dance numbers further engaged the audience as active party participants. And those ABBA songs never grow old, some of them being a party unto themselves.

Joanne Javien played Donna, Sophie’s mother, with the dramatic passion one would expect from the lead of Donna and the Dynamos, her throw-back 70s trio. Her rendition of “The Winner Takes It All” was superb. Heather Setzler played Tanya, the seductive member of the trio, and had fun with her “Does Your Mother Know” number. Nicki Hart played Rosie, the third Dynamo, and managed to be funny, sexy and a little bit vulnerable as she propositioned Bill, one of Donna’s former lovers, to “Take a Chance on Me.”

Graham Stevens, Brent Schraff and Jock Brocki, playing Donna’s past loves and Sophie’s prospective fathers, worked well in the backup male roles as did Simon Schaitkin, who plays Sophie’s fiancé. The Ensemble, composed of multitalented players, delivered stellar vocal backup and dance moves.

The entire production consistently drew cheers and thunderous applause, and the finale had the entire theater audience up and dancing in their seats.

“Mamma Mia!” runs through Oct. 6 with both evening and matinee performances scheduled. Also, there will be bonus preshow features such as Greek Night, 70s Nights and discounts for Military and Teacher Appreciation Nights. For bonus and discount details, as well as a schedule of performance times, dates and ticket prices, visit www.cfrt.org.

Music and food trucks? Yes, please. Especially after a long week of adulting. Get your planners out now and mark Sept. 20 as a night out — either with friends and family or just by yourself. The Dogwood Festival’s Fayetteville After Five is the perfect place to spend a Friday night, being entertained while eating some great-tasting food truck fare. Gates open at 5 p.m., and food trucks will begin serving food at 5:30 p.m. The opening band, Throwback Collaboration Band, begins playing at 6 p.m.

Plus, we are all family men. Our wives and families are friends. They go with us on as many trips as possible. We are huge advocates of our military and first responders and tend to sing the National Anthem in many of our shows, acapella. We love to sing harmonies as a hobby.

I do the booking and contracts and am a full-time musician. We are booked through three agencies as well. We are always thankful for what we’re blessed with and are very receptive to fans everywhere. As far as genre, we play everything from Eagles and Journey to Earth Wind & Fire and Bruno Mars.
 

Check our updated schedule at “http://www.rivermistband.com/tour-dates”  www.rivermistband.com/tour-dates.

“Early in my teaching career, one of my coworkers told me that my kids would never care to learn until they learned how much I care,” Cumberland County Schools’ 2020 Teacher of the Year Maureen Stover wrote in her nomination portfolio. “In my 10 years in education, I have found that one of the most important parts of being a teacher is the relationships I form with my students.” The teacher of the year presentation took place at the Embassy Suites’ Richard M. Wiggins Conference Center.

Stover received an award and flowers from the Cumberland County Schools, $300 from the Cumberland County Board of Education, $300 from the Communities In Schools of Cumberland County, $3,000 from Lafayette Ford Lincoln — $2,000 of which is for use at her school and $1,000 for her personal use — a commemorative custom-designed CCS’ Teacher of the Year ring from Jostens, an engraved clock from Herff Jones, season tickets to Fayetteville Marksmen hockey and a free weekend stay at Embassy Suites.

Other winners were first runner-up Katelyn Lovette from Gallberry Farm Elementary School, who received an award and flowers from the CCS, $100 from CISCC, and $200 from the CCBOE and second runner-up Tracy Hill from Douglas Byrd High School, who received an award and flowers from the CCS, $100 from CISCC, and $100 from the CCBOE. As Cumberland County’s teacher of the year, Stover advances to compete for the regional title.

Cumberland County Schools Superintendent  Marvin Connelly Jr. and  Cumberland County Schools’ 2020 Teacher of the Year Maureen Stover.

Throughout the preseason, Jack Britt head football coach Brian Randolph has preached a two-word motto to his team.

Over the past week, I received comments from three readers regarding two of my recent columns. They raised questions and challenges that some other readers likely share. Consequently, I will respond in this column.

Conservative Republican Dan Bishop won this month’s special election for an open North Carolina House of Representatives seat in Congress, averting a Democratic capture of a predominant Republican Party district. But the narrow victory did not erase questions about whether President Donald Trump and his party’s congressional candidates face troubling headwinds approaching 2020. The special election has two storylines:

Those efforts paid off in the 2012 congressional elections. North Carolina’s congressional delegation changed from majority Democratic (7-6) to majority Republican (8-5), a pickup of two seats. The drama continues as the general assembly deals with court orders to stop racial gerrymandering.

A Friday night high school football stadium packed with fans watching two teams battle has the potential for disaster if bad weather should suddenly develop.

Aname is also provided for the person who is monitoring weather conditions, including lightning and the wet bulb temperature, which determines whether it’s too hot for play to continue.

Squire uses a handheld device called a Kestrel Heat Stress Tracker to find the wet bulb temperature before the game starts and record it on the form. If it’s 88.9 degrees at kickoff special precautions have to be taken. If it’s 92 or above, the game may have to be stopped or suspended until it gets cooler.

Pictured: A copy of the pregame emergency report rests beneath the Kestrel heat stress device and the NCHSAA pre-game checklist badge. 

Every year, more than half a million people in the United States undergo joint replacement surgery because of painful arthritis that has greatly limited their activity. With the enhanced technology and surgical techniques available today, joint replacement surgery has become a routine procedure for orthopedic surgeons. There are two hospitals in the area that provide full service orthopedic surgical care: Cape Fear Valley Medical Center in Fayetteville and Hoke Hospital near Raeford. They represent Cape Fear Valley Health System’s ongoing commitment to bring comprehensive health care to all residents of southeastern North Carolina.

Race 2 Recovery prepares patients for their release from the hospital. Joint replacement surgery complications can arise if plans are not in order before leaving the hospital. To be discharged, a patient must be able to enter and exit a bed and a chair without too much assistance. He or she must be able to go to and from the bedroom, kitchen and bathroom as well as be able to walk with the aid of crutches or a walker. A hip replacement surgery risk or a knee replacement can both be devastating without the proper subsequent care. That is why physical therapy is imperative to heal completely. A good home care agency can help meet these needs.

To help patients achieve success, Cape Fear Valley Medical Center and Hoke Hospital have developed the Joint Replacement Club

The Vision Resource Center, Cape Fear Eye Associates and Systel present the Seventh Annual “Out of Sight” Night at the Park, Saturday, Sept. 21, from 6-10 p.m. at Segra Stadium on the VIP deck.

American business — big, small and in between — is rarely seen as a force of political liberalism. In fact, business interests are more often than not conservative, as political money given by both business executives and business entities demonstrates. Business helps itself by lobbying for less regulation and lower taxes and often contends these positions help everyone else as well — proverbial trickle-down economics.

The business leaders, representing companies including Levi Strauss & Co., Lyft, Gap Inc., Royal Caribbean and a financial operation founded by Jared Kushner’s brother, wrote this to senators. “Doing nothing about America’s gun violence crisis is simply unacceptable, and it is time to stand with the American public on gun safety.”

Beautiful art. Live music. Light bites and beverages. Home is Where the HeArt Is, an art auction fundraiser for Connections of Cumberland County, combines a fun evening out with support for a good cause. The event will be on Sept. 26 from 6 – 8:30 p.m. at Studio 215 in downtown Fayetteville. 

Guests to this third-annual event will have the opportunity to bid on original works of art by local and regional artists during live and silent auctions. Art auction items will include paintings in acrylic, oil, pastel and plein-air, charcoal sketches, handmade jewelry, pottery, photography, basket weavings and mixed media. A live painting created at the scene will also be up for bid that night.

A portraiture experience valued at over $5,000 donated by internationally recognized artist and Methodist University art departmentChairman Vilas Tonape will be a live auction exclusive. Other well-known local artists also contributing include Greg Hayes, Greg King, Shari Jackson Link, Stephanie Bostock, Suzanne Frank and Wick Smith.

Jennifer Fincher, 2019 art auction chair and CCC board member, expects this year to exceed the totals in both ticket sales and donated art from last year’s event. The highly attended 2018 fundraiser saw 54 local and regional artists donate 86 items. According to Fincher, the event moved this year to a new venue to accommodate its growth and increasing popularity.

    “We look forward to this year’s event being bigger and better than ever,” Fincher said. “We are so grateful for all the support that sponsors, artists and patrons have given us in the past. The auction is the single fundraiser all year for Connections of Cumberland County and raises a large part of our annual budget. We invite everyone to come out to the event, have a glass of wine, mix and mingle, view some great art or buy a piece to take home, and support the mission of Connections of Cumberland County.”

    Connections of Cumberland County operates the only nonprofit day resource center for homeless women and children in Fayetteville. Its goal is to provide life-changing links though comprehensive case management services to women and children who are homeless or facing homelessness. The agency collaborates with other vital community resources to help clients become safe and self-sufficient.

    The nonprofit started from research conducted by the Women’s Giving Circle of Cumberland County on the basic needs of local women and children. When results revealed alarming statistics on homelessness, a committee was birthed from the Women’s Giving Circle to start Connections. The agency relies on proceeds raised from the art auction, grants, and community donors, as well as the service of volunteers. Connections celebrated five years of success in Cumberland County this year.

    Connections is accepting sponsors at five recognition levels. The 2019 presenting sponsor is Patty Collie, senior vice president and financial advisor with Morgan Stanley of Fayetteville. The auction committee will accept art through Sept. 11. Sponsors and artists interested in donating can call the agency office at 910-630-0106 for information. Reserve tickets at www.connectionsofcc.org for this HeArt-felt event.

Pictured: one of the paintings that will be auctioned off at the Home is Where the HeArt Is art auction 

One thing is certain about this year’s 51st edition of the Cumberland County Golf Championship. New winners will be crowned in both the men’s and women’s divisions of the tournament. That’s because last year’s champions, Spencer Oxendine for the men and Angelique Seymour for the women, are competing at the college level. Congratulations to 2018 Cumberland County Golf Championship champion Spencer Oxendine, who has good reason for being unable to defend his title this year. Oxendine, a freshman on the golf team at North Carolina State, has earned a spot on the Wolfpack’s traveling team in his first year playing golf there. Oxendine is at North Carolina State and Seymour is at UNC-Pembroke. Both have commitments the weekend of the tournament, Sept. 13-15, that will prevent them from defending their titles.

But the golfers who were closest to them in the final scores all return to hopefully face a challenge that was denied last year’s field when bad weather forced the tournament to be rescheduled and cut to two days.

This year’s three-day event will open at Fort Bragg’s Stryker Golf Course for the first time and conclude with two rounds at Gates Four Golf and Country Club. “Everybody is excited about going out to Stryker,’’ said Up & Coming Weekly publisher Bill Bowman, the tournament’s director since 2016. “It is going to be at Stryker this year, and we hope it will be at other courses next year.’’

Bowman said work is continuing to build participation in the women’s division, which attracted eight participants last year.

To help boost the women’s field, Bowman said play was cut to 36 holes again, while adding a separate age division for more experienced golfers and shortening some of the holes. “The important thing is we carry on the tradition of recognizing the best golfers in Cumberland County,’’ he said. “I would say very few communities in the country can brag on the fact they’ve got a golf tournament that’s 51 years old.’’ 

Stryker

Stryker Golf Course professional Jeff Johnson said the Fayetteville community has always been welcome to play at the course on Fort Bragg, but adding it to the Cumberland County Golf Championship will make the course and its regular players feel like a part of the golfing community in Fayetteville.

Johnson said he hopes the tournament will showcase the Stryker course and encourage people to play it and Fort Bragg’s other course, Ryder.

For those not familiar with Stryker, the course is a 1946 Donald Ross layout that plays about 6,625 yards normally. It features Cumberland County’s longest hole, the 625-yard par-five fourth hole, which Johnson said won’t play that long for the tournament.

The biggest difference for golfers at Stryker will be the greens, which are Bermuda, compared to the bentgrass at Gates Four.

Johnson said the speed of the Stryker greens will be slower than what golfers experience at Gates Four. They will also have to take grain into consideration when chipping and putting.

For those who have never been to Stryker, Johnson said you head north on Bragg Boulevard and keep going until you dead end in the Stryker parking lot on your left.

There are no security gates to pass through to enter the course, Johnson said, as the Army intentionally left the golf course and the Fort Bragg Fairgrounds outside the containment area when security was tightened after 9/11. 

Gates Four

 Gates Four general manager Kevin Lavertu agreed with Johnson that moving from the Bermuda to the bent grass greens at Gates Four will require the players to make adjustments.

“More than 50% of the strokes in a round of golf are taken on the greens,’’ Lavertu said. “The ball reaction speed of the greens and adjusting will be key.’’

He said the players who adjust the quickest will be the ones moving up the leaderboard.

After a hot July, Lavertu said Gates Four is in excellent shape for the tournament. He added the course has undergone few changes in recent years and has been kept in a maintaining mode. He’s hopeful the course will be dryer and not as tough as it was for last year’s tournament.

“The course will play a little bit shorter day one and day two at both places,’’ Lavertu said. “That’s just a product of trying to set the same yardage at both courses for round one and two to get a good baseline of players.’’

Last year, Oxendine won the men’s division with a two-day score of 74-72-146. Lavertu is hopeful this year’s winner will be able to shoot from 6 to 8-under par if the weather is good. 

Men’s Championship

 Familiar names were among the top contenders for last year’s men’s title, and they will return again this season to see if they can continue to be among the best in the field.

Gary Robinson and Thomas Owen tied for second place behind Oxendine last year, both shooting a 151 total for the two-day tournament. Billy West was alone in fourth one shot 

back at 152.

Owen has finished second for two years in a row. If he has a concern about this year’s tournament, it’s his lack of familiarity with Stryker. “I haven’t played Stryker since I was 10 or 12 years old,’’ he said.

He likes the idea of competing on two different courses, calling it a tougher test that will see the best players rise to the top.

“Two different courses might test different parts of your game and how you can manage around a different golf course,’’ he said. “It makes you make adjustments, and usually the better players make those adjustments.’’

Owen said he hopes to borrow a page from former champion Billy West, who consistently avoids making bad decisions early in the tournament.

“You begin conservative and make smart plays,’’ Owen said, “not always whipping out your driver and trying to hit the miracle shot. Just kind of plug away being smart, and you’ll find a chance to win.’’

Gary Robinson, like Owen, hasn’t played Stryker recently, going back some 30 years to his college days at Fayetteville State. “I’m not familiar with the grass, but I’m familiar with the layout,’’ he said. “Going from Gates Four to Stryker to Gates Four would be more of an adjustment than playing Stryker the first day.’’

He said it could be a challenge for people not familiar with Bermuda grass to make the switch from Stryker to Gates Four.

Robinson is normally upbeat about the county championship but said he’s only played about four tournaments this year compared to 15 most years. “The hardest thing for me is when you’re expected to do well,’’ he said. “A lot of times when I’m not expecting things is when I do better.’’

Billy West has played amateur golf at the local, state and national level, but the Cumberland County Golf Championship remains his annual favorite. “At the gas station the next morning or at work, everybody is congratulating you or saying, sorry to see you lost by a couple of shots,’’ West said. “I think that’s one of the things that makes it special.’’

Now 45, West has been playing the CCGC since he was a teenager. He likes the challenge of playing on multiple courses over three days and thinks it produces the best champion.

He has played Stryker some but never in a tournament. “It’s got some shorter holes,’’ he said. “There are some places where it can be kind of tight off the tee, and you can get into trouble.’’

He said there’s a definite contrast between this year’s two courses. “At Gates Four, they’ve got larger greens, but they are kind of undulating, and they can do a lot with pin placements,” he said. “With it being in September, hopefully we get a little cooler weather and the greens are a little firmer and faster.’’

He added putting and wedge play around the greens will be critical. 

Women’s Championship

Toni Blackwell has enjoyed a brilliant high school career for the Cape Fear girls’ golf team. With Angelique Seymour not playing in this year’s tournament, Blackwell is the top player back from 2018.

“I’m looking forward to playing with the different women,’’ Blackwell said. “I get to learn from them and what they do. They enjoy the game.’’

While there are a few holes at Gates Four that can be challenging, Blackwell thinks she’ll fare okay this year.

“I think I can win,’’ she said. “I’ve got to play one hole at a time and stay focused.’’

Dee Dee Jarman thinks the addition of a senior division for women 50 and over is a positive for the tournament that will help draw players.

“Women’s golf is declining in this region,’’ she said. “It’s just hard to find women to play golf. Hopefully, this will help the numbers.’’

Jarman said her game is not good right now, but she plans to play to support women’s golf in the county. “It’s all about keeping women involved in the game of golf,’’ she said.

Patricia Joyce has been playing golf some 50 years she said, and winning also isn’t her No. 1 concern. “I play golf for the camaraderie and the fun,’’ she said. “I like to compete, but I like the socializing, too, and I think the other women do, too. It’s a fun, fun time.’’

Joyce thinks the two-day format for women is good because the tournament is limited to the weekend and no one has to take time off from work. 

She also was glad the holes were shortened at Gates Four.

Joyce said she’s fairly consistent with her driver and irons but has problems with putting. “I’d like to break 90 both days,’’ she said. “I think I’ve got a chance in both divisions.’’

Win or lose, Joyce will enjoy the weekend. “It’s nice to meet people, see people and maybe make connections you’ll play with down the line,’’ she said.

For more information, call Bill Bowman at 910-391-3859 or visit https://www.cumberlandcountygolfclassic.com/.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year — the presidential election of 2020 has arrived full-blown, even before the pre-Halloween Christmas decorations show up at Walmart. As Frank Costanza once said, the presidential election campaign has risen like a Phoenix from Arizona into full mushroom-cloud status. Political ads are now looming everywhere above the fruited plains like a hangover from overconsumption of Mad Dog 20/20 Electric Melon wine. 

One of the hot topics in the coming election will be the future of health care in America. There is a wide variety of options from Democrats from the plan to outlaw private insurance and have Medicare for all to Biden’s improved Obamacare. On the right, the Republicans want to abolish Obamacare to bring back pre-existing conditions. They have a Double Secret Plan for as-yet-undescribed medical Vapor Care. Thinking about health care got me pondering the good old days when doctors made house calls. That thought drove me back to medieval times when doctors wore scary bird mask outfits to cure the Black Death. Precious memories. How they linger. 

As the Republicans haven’t proposed their replacement for Obamacare, allow me to suggest they resume making medical care great again with Vapor Care. Vapor Care sounds perfect in the abstract when Dear Leader tweets. Vagueness counts. Mix together some warm, fuzzy words like “lower premiums and deductibles,” “far less expensive and far better,” and “block grants” and pretty soon you have the basis for Dear Leader’s replacement for Obamacare — new, improved Republican Vapor Care. 

In returning to Medicine’s Golden Days of Yesteryear, what better place to start than to require medical providers of Vapor Care to wear the Plague Doctors’ bird-head black costume? Take a walk down Memory Lane to consider how these costumes will make medicine great again. When the Black Death was stalking Europe, no one knew what to do about it. The Plague Doctors’ Bird of Death costume was a humdinger. Plague Doctors’ — PD for short — jobs included treating and curing victims of the plague and burying them when the cure didn’t take. Being a PD meant you had to be around plague patients and the plague cooties that the patients gave off. The PD’s uniform was designed to keep the doc safe as he practiced Vapor Care. A dude named Charles de l’Orme is credited with inventing the Plague Doctor bird outfit in about 1619. Chuck was the Dr. Phil celebrity doc of his day, including three French kings and the Medici family in Italy as his patients.

The PD wore a black leather cowboy hat. Beneath that, he wore the well-known bird mask. There was some belief that the plague was spread by birds, so the giant bird mask might scare away the disease-carrying birds. The beak of the mask was stuffed with flowers and sweet-smelling herbs because another theory was that the plague was spread by bad air. With the PD breathing the sweet smell of excess in his beak, the bad air cooties could be warded off. This left the PD to heal the sick unafraid of getting the Black Death himself. The PD wore a long, black overcoat from his head to his feet to protect his skin from the plague demons. To keep the demons from sticking to the overcoat, the PD would slime the overcoat with animal fat. 

 Greasing up the overcoat was done for several possible conflicting reasons — the grease would keep the plague cooties away from the PD, or it might draw the plague gremlins away from the patient and onto the overcoat. If any yucky plague secretions oozed off the body of the patient, the gruesome juices would slide off the grease-covered coat, thereby protecting the PD. One can imagine the healing effect of a giant bird figure covered in smelly grease on a hot day in Italy on a patient suffering bubonic plague. If the patient lived, he would remember that event forever. To complete the outfit, the PD carried a wooden cane to be used for poking the patient during examination or defending the PD from the patient if the patient became freaked out by the appearance of a giant smelly bird messing with him during his death throes. 

The advantage of dressing people in Plague Doctor Bird Suits to apply Vapor Care is that the PD doesn’t need a medical degree. Just a bird suit. No expensive medical doctors need apply. No medical malpractice cases will exist because the patients will all die, and the PD can’t be identified because of the Bird Suit. This all keeps down the costs of medical care. 

 The late, great singer Warren Zevon predicted Vapor Care with his immortal lyrics in his song “Life’ll Kill You.”

“From the president of the United States/ To the lowliest rock and roll star/ The doctor is in and he’ll see you now/ He don’t care who you are/ Some get the awful, awful diseases/ Some get the knife, some get the gun/ Some get to die in their sleep/ At the age of a hundred and one/ Life’ll kill ya/ That’s what I said/ Life’ll kill you/ Then you’ll be dead.” 

Remember to vote early and often. The life you save may be your own.

World’s funniest Wilmingtonian, syndicated columnist Celia Rivenbark, recently published a column on — of all things — thank you notes. She is all for them. Celia says, “Point is, this is still the South the last time I looked and if you receive a gift, you need to say thank you with some pretty stationery and a stamp that has flowers on it.”

The gold standard of thank you notes is exactly what Celia says — nice stationery or note cards, with an engraved monogram if you are really fancy and schooled into traditional propriety. Notes should be handwritten with lovely and highly legible penmanship unless the writer is manually disabled and should touch all bases — how kind of the giver to remember the occasion and how much you appreciate the thought and look forward to using the special gift. Those are the basics, and beyond that formula, a creative thank you note writer will wax on eloquently, drawing connections among kith and kin, describing the gift as nothing short of the Mona Lisa itself, and the bond between giver and recipient is eternally forged.

Having written and received a zillion thank you notes myself, I do know that things have changed over time. I still have monogrammed — though not engraved — note cards, and use them for thank you notes, condolences and sometimes just howdy dos. Times have changed with technology, though, and I am not above a thank you email or even a text, especially to a younger person who might find a handwritten note card arriving by snail mail akin to a missive from Mars.

But there are definite limits to what passes as an acceptable thank you, and I have had a few of those myself.

Most notably was a preprinted fill-in-the blank card that read something like this. The filler-in-the-blanks was a recent bride. The card arrived in a computer-addressed envelope with meter bulk mail postage, no doubt from the meter in her parents’ office.

Dear ____,

Thank you for the lovely____________. Aloysius and I will enjoy using it/them for many years and will think of you every time. We are grateful for your thinking of us at this special time in our lives.

Love,

Anastasia

This thank you note was wrong in oh-so-many ways. I can only imagine Anastasia filling out cards as she watched “Orange is the New Black,” so no wonder she lost track of what she was doing. 

She thanked me for lovely napkins, when we had given the happy couple embroidered pillowcases. And Anastasia did not love me for a single second, as I am a friend of her mother’s and have not laid eyes on her since she was a baby. There was nothing personal or sincere about this assembly line thank you. The bride was merely checking the boxes of what she thought she should do, perhaps even knocking them all out during one great binge-watching session.

Times have certainly changed, and all of us are busy, busy, busy but not so much that a canned thank you note or group email or text mentioning only a “lovely gift” pass for genuine gratitude. The point here is not that the giver receives an acknowledgment of effort made and money spent but that the recipient expresses sincere gratitude that someone, even an old lady, long ago friend of her mother’s wished her and her husband well as they began their lives together.

Contrast Anastasia’s note with one I received from a young cousin to whom we gave a toy on an early birthday. The boy, about six or seven, wrote a note on lined paper with what could only have been a # 2 pencil. It read, “Thank you for the truck. It made me happy.” I know his mother made him sit down and write, but his note was simple and sincere, and those qualities will stand him in good stead all his life.

Celia put it this way, “It’s not about being thanked. It is about thanking. It’s about being grateful enough to spend a few minutes to reflect on someone’s generosity. That’s never a bad thing.”

Amen.

A pair of familiar faces to the Fayetteville Academy family will become the two newest members of the school’s athletic hall of fame.

Athletic director and coach Chip Bishop and longtime booster club president Emily Schaefer will be honored at an induction ceremony the night of the school’s annual J.L. Dawkins Alumni basketball games Tuesday, Nov. 26.

Bishop and Schaefer were selected for induction by a special committee that includes representatives of the school from various areas.

Head of school Ray Quesnel said as the Academy celebrates its 50th year, the school couldn’t have two better honorees joining the hall of fame.

Bishop had been nominated some years ago but declined to be considered for induction until this year.

“With him, it was obviously not a question of if but when,’’ Quesnel said. “He’s been at the Academy for over 30 years.’’ During that time the Eagles have won numerous state and conference titles in a variety of sports. Quesnel said Bishop is respected within the school as well as at the state and local levels.

“He means so much to his former players who come back and see him all the time,’’ Quesnel said. In addition to his work at Fayetteville Academy, Bishop has been a football official for the Southeastern Athletic Officials Association and NCAA Division III. For years, he volunteered at the Masters Golf Tournament in Augusta, Georgia.

While at the Academy, he won two North Carolina Independent Schools Athletic Association boys basketball championships.

Bishop said he delayed being considered for induction because he wanted to make sure two architects of much of the school’s success in soccer, Andrew McCarthy and Jimmy Maher, were named to the hall before him.

“This is a special place as far as I’m concerned,’’ Bishop said. “It’s a great honor for me to go in. It’s an honor to be associated with these types of people.’’

 Schaefer was chosen to the hall of fame in the recently-added category of booster. Quesnel said she has served as booster club president for seven of the last eight years. “She’s the glue that holds it all together,’’ Quesnel said. “She organizes all the chairs of the booster organization, makes schedules and leads people.

“She does so much in a humble way and she doesn’t do it for credit. She just does it because she knows it needs to be done.’’

Schaefer called her induction an honor and said it was touching for people to realize all the things behind the scenes that she took care of. She called the hall of fame an elite group she felt honored to be part of.

Get your unwanted documents together and dress for cleanup duty. The town of Hope Mills is holding its biannual shredding and litter sweep events. Stormwater supervisor Beth Brown said Sept. 21 has been designated as the day the town will offer free shredding of sensitive documents while inviting townspeople to volunteer to help spruce up neighboring streets by picking up litter.

There will not be a hazardous household waste cleanup. That was held in the spring, and Brown said it’s too costly to do more than once a year. “That event is typically between $20,000-30,000,’’ she said.

Not many people requested a repeat on the hazardous waste cleanup, Brown said, but they did on the shredding event. “We feel it’s easier to do in coordination with another event like the litter sweep,’’ she said.

The goal of the shredding event is to provide the community with a chance to dispose of any kind of paper waste and get rid of it in a manner that is environmentally friendly and appropriate.

Just about anything related to paper products is acceptable except large binder clips, Brown said. Paper clips and staples can be left in documents and will be shredded.

The public can also bring computer disks, both CD and DVD types, along with the old-style floppy disks. “We did collect some of those during the spring,’’ she said of the floppy disks.

One thing everyone bringing documents for shredding needs to know is the shredding will not take place on site when the materials are dropped off. Everything will be collected and placed in locked containers that will be locked in town hall over the weekend.

The Monday following the shred event, the company doing the shredding will pick up all the material and transport it to Raleigh to be shredded. Brown said some people were upset last year when they were unable to watch their documents being shredded.

“The service is as secure to use as if it was shredded on our site,’’ she said.

While the shred event will be going on at town hall in the customer parking lot, the litter sweep will begin at the Parks and Recreation Department.

Brown said maps will be available and volunteers can pick an area of town where they would like to clean up. They can choose a designated area or clean up anywhere within the town limits.

The town will provide gloves, trash bags and tools to pick up the trash with along with safety vests. The vests and tools need to be returned when done. 

Children are welcome to take part in the litter sweep, but any child under the age of 18 must be supervised by a parent or guardian as a safety precaution.

Brown said this litter sweep is important because it will be the final one before Ole Mill Days on Saturday, Oct. 5, with major activities scheduled at town hall and municipal park.

Anyone with questions about the shred event should call 910-424-4555. For questions about the litter sweep, call 910-426-4109.

 Get ready to have those upbeat ABBA disco ditties rollicking around in your head once again as Cape Fear Regional Theater brings “Mamma Mia!” to town … with a twist. Opening Sept. 12, and running through Oct. 6, the production promises to be a party for all. With music and lyrics by Bjorn Ulvaeus and Benny Andersson and the book by Catherine Johnson, “Mamma Mia!” will be directed by Suzanne Agins and choreographed by Ryan Migge. 

 Audiences can look forward to a few twists — and some bonus content — in CFRT’s production of the story of a soon-to-be-married 20-year-old who writes to three men from her mother’s past, inviting them to her wedding to find out which one is her father. “When ‘Mamma Mia!’ was first performed in 1999, 20 years ago was the 70s,” said Agins. “Twenty years ago now is the 90s.” 

 This will be Agins’ third time directing a CFRT production, having previously directed “Dreamgirls” and “Memphis.” “It is such a joy to form these relationships over time,” Agins said of her experience working with CFRT casts, which also include many local actors and actresses. 

Migge is a self-styled “Cape Fear virgin” as this will be his first time choreographing a CFRT production. “I am especially excited to be teaching Waterloo,” Migge said, referring to Megamix Night Sept. 9, from 6-7 p.m., when theatergoers will have the opportunity pre-show to learn the choreography for the show’s finale so that they can “dance in the aisles with the cast.”

 “We are bringing back the onstage bar featured in ‘Music City,’” said Agins. “It was such an immersive experience with the audience, which made the energy level so high, and it carried over to the show.”

 Joanne Javien will play Donna, the bride’s mother. She studied opera in college in New York and has been acting for over 15 years. Nicki Hart will play Rosie, Donna’s friend. Hart came to Fayetteville as a military spouse in 2000 and has appeared in CFRT productions ever since, her most recent appearance being in “Music City.” Heather Setzler will play Tanya, another friend of Donna’s. Although she worked in TV news for 20 years and has appeared in Wilmington and Raleigh theater, this will be her first appearance on the CFRT stage. 

 Sarah Harris, costume designer for “Annie,” will design the set for “Mamma Mia!” Costumes will be designed by Claudia Stephens, who was CFRT Artistic Director Mary Kate Burke’s professor at Southern Methodist University and previously designed the costumes for “Sense and Sensibility.” Costume associate, Janice Rabian will assist Stephens. Zeke Smith will direct the same band of local musicians who played for last season’s “Memphis.” 

 In addition to Megamix Night, there will be other events associated with “Mamma Mia!” For Greek Night on Sept. 12, from 6:30-7:15 p.m., patrons are encouraged to wear their letters and enjoy complimentary wine tasting before the show. For 70s Night, on Sept. 13 and 27, from 6:30-7:15 p.m., come dressed in 70s attire and enjoy the onstage bar and some groovy tunes. Opening Night Dance Party takes place on Sept. 14, beginning after the show at 10 p.m. Sept. 18 is Military Appreciation Night and Sept. 20 is Teacher Appreciation Night; both feature a 25% ticket discount with appropriate ID. 

 Don’t miss “Mamma Mia!” — the party that kicks off CFRT’s 2019-2020 season. For performance dates, times and ticket prices, visit the CFRT website at www.CFRT.org.